|
Beijing, China — Government sources disclosed
Friday that China's recent entry into the space race was not
based on new, superior technology, but utilized the decades-old
physics of the common bottle rocket-- now multiplied by more
than one million.
"We are so proud to send our astronaut into space and
show the rest of the world that the Chinese people lead the
world in space exploration," the state-run Xinhua news
agency released in a statement. "Bottle rocket technology
is not to be underestimated, as anyone who has seen them in
action can attest. It is a proud moment for the brave astronaut
who volunteered --and was not forcibly led to the launch pad
gagged and bound like others have reported."
Astronaut Yang Liwei was a peasant rice farmer before he
began his vigorous training 10 days ago for China's first
ever manned space flight and issued an emotional statement
to the world press just hours before the launch.
"I, state your name, go to space voluntarily because
my government is wonderful and kind. Communism is perfect.
I am not being forced to do this because my government is
trying to divert attention away from developing nuclear warheads
and planning a surprise attack on Taiwan. I have spent the
last week and a half of my life learning all there is to know
about going to space and I am very excited to be propelled
to some far away galaxy and possibly meet some moon men on
the way.
According to sources, the liftoff, which was shrouded in
secrecy, was hampered by several false starts and damp wicks,
in addition to the problem locating a large enough bottle
to hold the more than 1 million bottle rockets.
Although the Chinese government settled on a propulsion system
consisting of a greater number of bottle rockets rather than
one giant one, there was still controversy over the landing
system, which is considered more sophisticated and thought
to utilize advanced ramen noodle technology.
|
|
Above:
Initial launch trials involved one giant bottle rocket, which
was eventually recovered in a neighbor's yard.
SEND THIS ARTICLE TO A FRIEND!
|
|
