Home |
Past Issues|
Bob Jobs |
Who's in Charge |
Mailing List |
Bob Gear |
Copyright Notice for Plagiarists

 

Want to write comedy? - Click Here  

 

As a member of the young generation that will one day lead this country, I am very concerned about people who don't understand that when a girl says no, she means no and it's wrong to have sex with a girl unless she gives you permission. Just because a girl might make out with you for awhile and let you feel her up does not give someone the right to just start jabbing away with their male penises!

Sex is something that is very special and should be shared with two people that love each other and have spent time together and not all gross like in the back of a car or with some hotel clerk even though she was a cheerleader who had sex with lots and lots of other people. No matter how slutty and skanked out she is, if she says no, then that means no. You really need to respect her feelings and instead of trying to have sex with her, you need to take her to dinner and to Six Flags and be really nice to her and gentle and then if you're good looking and she feels the time is right, then you can make love to each other. But first you should fool around a bit so she doesn't get all freaked when you pull it out the first time. Sometimes it's okay if you're trying to make your boyfriend jealous but it's still better when you both love each other.

Just because someone has lots of money and is tall and good-looking like certain famous basketball players, does not give him the right to just run around having sex with people without their permission. How would he like it if someone tried to have sex with him without his permission? That's right, he wouldn't like it at all! .

Once time my ex-boyfriend Brian Lemming tried to have sex with me and I said "no, way" because I heard that he had crabs. I'm not sure if he still has crabs but it's better to be safe than sorry, and that's why I told everyone I knew because I was worried about other people catching crabs. Now Brian Lemming is all mad at me and says he never had crabs but you can never be sure because crabs are very, very small and are hard to see. He really seems like the kind of guy that has crabs.

I know I also spread rumors that Brian Lemming's penis is really small but that was a long time ago when I was super mad at him and has nothing to do with the fact that he probably has crabs. Also, his penis may have grown some since then, so I'm not about to spread more rumors. Except to say that Brian Lemming used to have a really, really small penis like six months ago.

Anyway, the point is that before you have sex with someone you need to get their permission because that way it's much better and afterwards you can cuddle in the spoon position without worrying that she's calling the police on her cell phone.

Just Say No!

Jen Gillis
Sophomore, Camden High School
P.S. GO CAMDEN CHIEFS!

 

Above: Jen Gillis feels that forcibly having sex with someone is wrong


SEND THIS ARTICLE TO A FRIEND!


Support Our Sponsors!

Cardinals Tix, MLB Playoffs tix, World Series Tix

Retro t-shirts!

Debt Consolidation

 

JOIN OUR MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES  

Copyright © 2001-2006 Bob From Accounting/Orange Planet Entertainment, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. That means you too, Mr. Steven Spielberg