|
UTICA, NY – The nation's homeless are the least
likely to be affected by Sunday’s time change, according
to the latest CNN poll, conducted on Tuesday.
The survey, which has an error margin of 26%, showed that
98% of homeless people barely reacted to the news they would
gaining an hour of wine-induced sleep, with more than 15%
using the "rat's ass" description of their general
feelings on the subject.
The nation's growing number of unemployed college graduates
and slackers reported they were somewhat concerned about whether
the time changed affected Happy Hour, and "moderately
concerned" they might actually miss an episode of "Spongebob."
In addition, more than 25% admitted they still hadn't changed
their clocks from last year, but were confident any potential
employer wouldn't hold it against them.
On the other end of the scale, more than 70% of child molesters
polled were highly affected by the time change, citing the
obvious differences between showing up at the playground at
3pm or wandering around all day wondering where the hell the
kids were.
Twice a year, most of the nation changes its clocks at 2:00
a.m. -- on the first Sunday in April, when clocks "spring
forward" an hour for Daylight Saving Time, and the last
Sunday in October, when they "fall back" one hour
to return to Standard Time.
Homeless child molestors seem mostly ambivelant about the
time change but plan to set their sundials accordingly.
|
