Home | Join Mailing List for Updates!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM BOB

Dear Website Readers,

Normally I don't get involved in the day to day activities of this website because, in all honesty, I don't find it very funny and it's mostly a source of continual annoyance for me in a variety of ways which I will not get into right now. But in the spirit of holiday good cheer, I've agreed to the staff's request to say something nice to the readers here. I'm not exactly sure what to say and five hundred words is a lot but I will do my best.

Don't expect me to be funny, however, as that wasn't part of the deal. I'm not a comedian by trade but I do enjoy telling a good joke now and then. Unfortunately, I can't think of any great ones right now. I will do my best to write something about Thanksgiving that the readers (you) will really enjoy and take to heart instead of spending all your time making fun of innocent Muslims or Keanu Reeves or whoever. I fully expect the editors to make a joke out of this and attach offensive photos of me on these pages. Make no mistake, if any of these unfunny and highly offensive photos do appear next to my words, keep in mind they are only clever forgeries that have been doctored up by some guy named Chuck. They are not me and I haven't given any authorization for the use of my copyrighted images.

I'm not sure how many words I've written at this point, but I would say that it's about one half of what I need to write and I still haven't spoken about the warm memories of Thanksgiving when I was a child.

I'm sorry -- let me just interject at this time that even though I'm not happy with many of the things they say about me on this website including stealing my journal and private thoughts and putting them online for the world to see without my permission, as well as this ridiculous date me contest that I did not approve beforehand, I will try to use this public forum for good and not for bad. If they want to use and exploit me then two can play at that game. I'm sure you would agree.

Anyway, I'm running out of room on this page and I think I've almost expended my 500 words so let me say something quickly about Thanksgiving and what it means to me and leave you people to more enjoyable pursuits than listening to me philosophize.

Thanksgiving is a very special time of the year when we can give thanks for the things we have. We shouldn't dwell on the mistakes we've made or the bad things like the fact that after 17 years as an accountant, I was tossed out on my ass like yesterday's dirty underwear. Does make sense?

Thanksgiving is a time when we look at everything that's happened -- even horrible events like the terrorist attacks -- and find something we're thankful for -- although this year I'm not going to be thankful for anything about the terrorist attacks since technically, I did that LAST Thanksgiving.

This year I'm thankful for my health. For my roommate Ziggy, my other friends who I don't want to name at this point because of time constraints. Most of all I'd like to thank the love of my life Kim Soo, who even though she's not technically my girlfriend and she lives out of state, I'm still thankful for all the memories that have kept me going on my exciting new adventure here in Hollywood, California.

Even though it's not good to be thankful for "stuff", I am thankful for the roof over my head, the change jingling in my pocket and my journal, which will never ever be posted online again. You can be sure of that. I'm also thankful for the unopened bottle of Jim Beam I found in the dumpster last night which reminds me that I have to go now. My friend Paprika is coming over and we're going to spend a lazy day watching my private collection of "Small Wonder" on VHS. Five seasons of glorious mechanized wonder. I'm thankful for that as well.

Happy Holidays,

Bob (from Accounting)