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Diamond Bar, CA —Despite continued difficulty
in understanding spoken English, 17 year-old Asaki Fujimoto,
a foreign exchange student from Kyoto, Japan, is still pretending
to understand everything according to his American host family.
Either that or he's retarded.
"Asaki is really a joy to have around the house but I'm
not sure he can understand a g-damn word that we say,"
explains host family mother Heather Thompson. "No matter
what someone says, he just nods his head like a big foreign
idiot. Thank God that boy can do laundry because otherwise
he'd be worthless."
While Mrs. Thompson seems to be mostly sympathetic to the
young man's plight, Thompson's three boys, Aaron, 14, Simon,
11, and Andrew, 8, never get bored of taking advantage of
the situation.
"The other day we got him to say supersize it with an
extra large cock' at McDonald's " proudly recalls Aaron.
"The girl at the register flipped out and called the
manager and 'The Donger' here almost got thrown in jail. We
were busting up big time."
Fujimoto's problems have gone further than simple embarrassment.
A call to a phone sex operator instigated by middle brother
Simon left the young student with a $825.42 Mastercard bill.
In addition, the host parents routinely ask Fujimoto to use
his parent's emergency-only credit card for family shopping
sprees and to help finance the Thompson's brand new RV.
"It's not my fault the kid doesn't understand the exchange
rate," explains father Dan Thompson. I'm not here to
teach him English, I'm here to be a mentor and sort of father
figure. We really will miss him though. Dumb bastard."
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Above:
According to the Thompson Family, Fujimoto is either really
agreeable or just retarded
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