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HOLLYWOOD, CA —Former "Ally McBeal" star Calista Flockhart remembers last Christmas well. Just a few hours after a enjoying a huge holiday dinner with family and new boyfriend Harrison Ford, she was sitting in the living room enjoying herbal tea when she felt a strange sensation in her lower abdomen.

"It was like this stabbing, really full feeling that I just can't describe," Flockhart said. "I asked Harrison what was happening to me and he made a joke like I looked like I was about to deliver a baby."

It turns out what Flockhart delivered wasn't a baby at all, but what the diminutive actress referred to as "fire hose-sized stool propelled with rocket grade fuel."

Despite her movie star boyfriend's explanation, Flockhart took the matter into her own hands so to speak and frantically drove herself to St. Joseph's Medical Center with the stool sample riding shotgun.

It was just horrible," Flockhart said fighting back tears as she relived the experience."I didn't know what was happening to me and I just panicked when I saw that thing in the toilet. I'm never eating holiday dinners ever again!"

While Calista Flockhart may be a Hollywood celebrity, she still shares the same fear and anxiety of eating large multi-course meals with millions of the nation's anorexics and bulimics.

"It's a shock not only to their system but their inner psyche as well," says eating disorder specialist Dr. Michael Keene. "When they suddenly go to flush the toilet and they see the 'large brown trout' sitting below them, they immediately assume they're dying.

Flockhart, like many others, promised not to take a chance this holiday season despite doctor's orders for a rigorous daily eating/excreting regimen.

"I refuse to feed her a soy turkey intravenously like she wants," Dr. Keene said. "And I don't care how famous her boyfriend is."

Flockhart replied with a dry heave and three loud belches.


Photo: Flockhart is scared of "The Big Poop"

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