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HOLLYWOOD, CA —Former "Ally McBeal" star Calista
Flockhart remembers last Christmas well. Just a few hours
after a enjoying a huge holiday dinner with family and new
boyfriend Harrison Ford, she was sitting in the living room
enjoying herbal tea when she felt a strange sensation in her
lower abdomen.
"It was like this stabbing, really full feeling that
I just can't describe," Flockhart said. "I asked
Harrison what was happening to me and he made a joke like
I looked like I was about to deliver a baby."
It turns out what Flockhart delivered wasn't a baby at all,
but what the diminutive actress referred to as "fire
hose-sized stool propelled with rocket grade fuel."
Despite her movie star boyfriend's explanation, Flockhart
took the matter into her own hands so to speak and frantically
drove herself to St. Joseph's Medical Center with the stool
sample riding shotgun.
It was just horrible," Flockhart said fighting back
tears as she relived the experience."I didn't know what
was happening to me and I just panicked when I saw that thing
in the toilet. I'm never eating holiday dinners ever again!"
While Calista Flockhart may be a Hollywood celebrity, she
still shares the same fear and anxiety of eating large multi-course
meals with millions of the nation's anorexics and bulimics.
"It's a shock not only to their system but their inner
psyche as well," says eating disorder specialist Dr.
Michael Keene. "When they suddenly go to flush the toilet
and they see the 'large brown trout' sitting below them, they
immediately assume they're dying.
Flockhart, like many others, promised not to take a chance
this holiday season despite doctor's orders for a rigorous
daily eating/excreting regimen.
"I refuse to feed her a soy turkey intravenously like
she wants," Dr. Keene said. "And I don't care how
famous her boyfriend is."
Flockhart replied with a dry heave and three loud belches.
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