Receptionist Ruby Smith was angered beyond belief Tuesday when she received yet another crappy Christmas present from longtime boyfriend, Stu Hagel.

Smith, a longtime employee at Septicorps Enterprises was expecting an engagement ring "or at least something sparkly and expensive" from her boyfriend of 6 1/2 years. Instead, she was given a rainstick from the Nature Store.

“I’m opening this huge box and thinking it’s either one of those really expensive rotisserie machines like they sell on TV or an elaborate box-within-a-box scheme with an engagement ring in the smallest box," Smith said. “Instead I pull out this stupid wooden stick that sounds like rain when I turn it upside town. What the fuck was he thinking?"

Instead of thanking him for his thoughfulness and originality as Hagel had begged of her, she smashed the rainstick “into a gazillion pieces” and vowed never to sleep with him again.

Hagel admitted he was confused by his girlfriend's reaction. “The chick in the store told me a gift like this would get me laid for sure – maybe even some oral," which, according to Hagel, was reserved for special occasions and as a reward for being sensitive to her needs or noticing when she lost weight.

Hagel began to explain how much effort and thought he put into the purchase of the $29 item, when suddenly he trailed off as the Detroit Lions had just completed a 40-yard touchdown.

A spokesman for The Nature Store could not be reached for comment.

Above: Boyfriend isn't getting laid anytime soon, says Smith. Photo by anonymous.

Above: Bob from Accounting admires rainstick from The Nature Store