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WEST BANK, Palestine— A 19-year-old Palestinian
college student beat the current world record for most consecutive
demands for Jihad, or holy war, according to Guinness Book
spokesman, Jerry Cox.
"It was an amazing sight to see. I didn’t think
anyone was going to beat the old record."
The former record of 12,175 angry calls for Jihad was set
in 1994 by Hamat Azahlas, a 35-year-old
refugee living in Lebanon.
According to the new record holder, Wallid El Sahami, it
was no great feat. “I was just hanging around with my
friends urinating on the American flag and doing what I normally
do when I cut classes," El Sahami said. "I had no
idea I had beaten any kind of record.”
When 12 hours had passed and El Sahami had uttered the inflammatory
call for Jihad 12,233 times, his friends called the Guinness
Book Publishing office and asked them to send a staffer over.
Skeptical at first, Cox, who happened to be vacationing in
Islamabad, put down his tennis racquet and came over to witness
the feat in person. “He just kept saying it over and
over again. It was almost as if he only had that one word
in his vocabulary.”
Modest as always, the newly crowned “King of Jihad,”
shrugged off his newfound celebrity and explained it wasn’t
that hard to do. “I just concentrated real hard on killing
each and every one of the infidels and then beating their
children with a large claw hook hammer," El Sahami said.
"It was actually a lot of fun—especially when I
began singing it to the tune of old Woody Guthrie songs."
According to Cox, the prize will include a leatherbound Encyclopedia
Britannica, $500 in cash and a guest appearance on the special
Terrorist Edition of “The Weakest Link.”
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