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Washington - Ed Jamison has always been a big fan
of President Bush and as usual, was looking forward to watching
the televised State of the Union speech Tuesday on CNN. That
is, until he once again became obsessed by the apparently
shrinking size of the President's head and ruined the evening
for his whole family.
"There, did you see it? See how tiny it is? It's so
tiny! It was never that small before!"
Jamison, a Republican who voted for Bush in 2000 and George
Bush Sr. in 1988 and 1992, was excited about the fiery war
rhetoric he had come to expect, but instead, all he could
think about during the nearly one hour oration was the President's
ever diminutive head and why nobody else seemed to notice.
"Okay, look right now. See? It's even a shade smaller
then it was during his press conference in the Rose Garden
yesterday. Isn't anyone else concerned?"
According to Jamison's wife Ruthie, she couldn't understand
a thing Bush was saying because her husband kept screaming
and pointing at the television set the entire evening.
"I know it's strange, but I've taken measurements and
at this rate, the President's head will be the size of a large
plum by mid-March,," Jamison said. "I'm convinced
the President is suffering some kind of rare skull disorder
sort of like those kids I've seen on Maury Povich. Either
that or it's voodoo."
One senior member of the Bush administration denied the accusation,
saying "the President's head is in perfect health and
it is not shrinking. It's the same size it's always been and
reports to the contrary are greatly exaggerated."
Added the official, "And even if it was shrinking a
little bit, it doesn't mean he can't push a tax relief bill
through Congress or bomb Iraq."
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