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MAN CONVINCED BUSH'S HEAD GETTING SMALLER  Washington
- Ed Jamison has always
been a big fan of President Bush and was looking forward to watching
the televised State of the Union speech on CNN. That is, until he
once again became obsessed by the apparently shrinking size of the
President's head and ruined the evening for his whole family. "There,
did you see it? See how tiny it is? It's so tiny! It was never that
small before!"
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BOB
DECLARES ORGY A RESOUNDING SUCCESS! BFA STAFF CELEBRATES ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, NEW LOAN FROM PARENTS
The
Bob Diaries: Bob
Unearthed!
BOB SETS RECORD FOR BREAKING NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS TIMELINE Jan. 1, 2003  12:03am:
Tells girl at New Year's Party he has to leave to get early start
on novel and/or screenplay he's writing12:06am: Phones hooker 12:33am: Has intercourse with hooker 12:44am: Resumes smoking habit 12:46am: Resumes bourbon habit 12:55am: Obsesses about hot Asian girl from back home that he can't have 1:01am: First self-gratification of 2003 1:20am: Intends to stop for veggie burger at all night diner, instead eats 4 enchiladas, extra sour cream at Taco Bell 1:49am: Second self-gratification of 2003 9:00am: Gets up early to begin work on novel and/or screenplay 9:14am: Gets distracted by Meredith Veira cohosting "The View" 9:27am: Third self gratification of 2003
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BFA Reporter Hugs Winona Ryder |
Los
Angeles, CA - Bob from
Accounting wishes to acknowledge all those who helped turn the BFA
anniversary party Saturday into "the best spontaneous Dyonisian-style
orgy ever." Special thanks go to the fine ladies of the Ling
Lu Bathhouse in Van Nuys who were kind enough to sponsor the event.
"It
was the single greatest night of my life," said the emotional
accountant. "Thank you. Thank you. I can't possibly thank you
enough."
Los
Angeles, CA -The BFA staff
has reason to celebrate. After one year of offending the masses,
pandering to quasi-celebs, and embarrassing their loved ones, they
have managed to secure yet another loan from their parents. This
new loan, as opposed to the other one(s) is sure to be paid off
in a timely manner this time because "money doesn't grow on
trees." They now realize that "it's time to grow up -
you're nearly 30!" and they certainly don't want to "become
a bum like [your] Uncle Tim." They are additionally aware that
"this loan better be paid back. I mean it. I'm not kidding
around. I want to see your checkbook. Are you balancing your checkbook?
Is this what I sent you to college for?" Staff members, however,
will continue to be paid with t-shirts. 
2002
ETHNIC | ©2002 Bob From Accounting/Orange Planet Entertainment - All rights reserved. So don't steal -- that means you too, Mr. Steven Spielberg. |