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Scranton, PA - Lunchlady Mavis McGill's breasts continue
to go unnoticed and unappreciated says a 15-year-old high
school student who made his stunning discovery over a period
of two weeks following winter break.
Beaver High School sophomore Danny Whitehall said that not
only was he shocked and awed by the size of McGill's heaving
bosom and accompanying cleavage, he was also perplexed as
to why none of his classmates had noticed them before.
"When she bends down to ladle the soup, you can see
them," Whitehall said. "They're white like porcelain
and soft-looking and if you squint a certain way, you can't
tell how repulsive and old she really is. It's like magic."
This isn't the first adult school employee Whitehall or his
friends had checked out in the past. He admits he sized up
[French instructor] Fran Beaulieu within a few days of entering
school freshman year and then then noticed [Assistant Principal]
Donna Farnsworth had "an ass that could crack walnuts."
But both of them are in their early 30's. Mavis McGill turned
57 in December.
"Yeah, I guess so, but she's one of those women you
really can't tell how old they are -- like Alice on the 'Brady
Bunch,'" Whitehall said. "And who didn't want to
have sex with Alice? I sure did."
Whitehall prides himself on being able to evoke sexual fantasies
under the most difficult of circumstances - something he has
found to be a necessary skill while his teen hormones rage
uncontrollably and his fresh thatch of public hair grows in.
"Look, I realize the hot girls aren't gonna want to
have sex with some virgin and I've already exhausted the supply
of relatively good-looking married teachers, who pretty much
ignore me," Whitehall said. "But the lunchlady has
never ever been married and I'm pretty sure she'll agree to
have sex with me when I eventually hint at it in the food
line. Starting tomorrow, I'm ordering the meatballs. Hopefully
she'll catch on."
Whitehall has been trying without much success to spread
the word about McGill's fantastic rack, but instead had been
ridiculed and alienated by the entire sophomore class.
"Fine. More for me. See if I care."
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