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DUSSELDORF—The German financial market took another
major blow Wednesday when David Hasselhoff accidentally unclenched
his stomach muscles during a press conference promoting Fox's
upcoming "Baywatch Hawaiian Wedding."
The move sent leaders scrambling as German stocks plummeted
during afternoon trading. The impact could be felt throughout
Western Europe as the Euro fell to new lows after news of
the incident spread.
"This will undeniably affect our economy in the days
and weeks to come." Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said
after an emergency meeting with his financial ministers. "I
know it will be difficult but we have to pick up the pieces
and get through this the best way we can."
Hasselhoff, the former star of hit television shows "Knight
Ryder" and "Baywatch" had been preparing for
months for his February 28th special Baywatch reunion and
decided to spend a few extra days in Germany to promote his
greatest hits CD when he suddenly lost control of his abdominal
muscles, something he says hasn't happened in public since
1986. And never in Germany.
"Look I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just
couldn't hold it in any longer," Hasselhoff, 50, explained
to hundreds of teary eyed fans as he got into his limo headed
for the airport. "Ich liebe dich Deutschland! I love
Germany!" said Hasselhoff as teens pelted his limo with
eggs and bratwurst.
Hasselhoff, despite being an American B-list actor, had obtained
icon status as a pop singer in Germany, where he had become
a symbol of the reunified country’s obsession with California
tans and surgically-enhanced breasts. Now, because of his
man breast, Germany appears to be at the onset of an economic
tailspin not seen since the days before Hitler's rise to power.
It remains to be seen whether Germany will be more hated
for it's Nazi past or allowing David Hasselhoff to record
a greatest hits album.
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