|
NEW YORK - Mattel Toys announced Monday they will
release a new line of Barbies to commemorate America's truly
forgotten war heroes: port-of-call prostitutes.
Devised to counter criticism that earlier Barbies propagated
submissive female stereotypes, the new dolls will immortalize
those brave, loose women who helped prop up U.S. interests
abroad by going down on our soldiers.
 In
February, Mattel will release World War I Brigitte, a lusty
French whore who can perform amazing tricks with a day-old
baguette. Kids will quickly learn her raging yeast infection
is the least of her worries. (VD treatment kit sold separately).
In March will come Vera Lynn, the WWII-era English dance-hall
hooker, capable of giving GI Joe a lap dance even while he's
standing up. That same month will bring Mihu Su, the underaged
Vietnamese geisha who "will love you long time"
when you pull the string on her back.
The entire line of new Barbies come with prerecorded offers
for sex in their native language as well as the patented,
anatomically-correct "Kegel Grip™."
The Mattel press release states:"Girls and boys alike
will delight in the intricate game of love and commerce between
these plucky, foreign street girls and our brave fighting
men. The petty negotiations, the sweaty grappling in a Hanoi
back alley, the embarrassed reunion when she shows up five
years later on Joe's Iowa doorstep with a familiar-looking
round-eyed child. It's all good, clean fun."
|
