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by Miles Kahn

Macon, GA— Continued news of worldwide terrorism, including a suicide bomb exploding Tuesday in an open air market in Israel, as well as the recent murder of a Wall Street Journal reporter in Pakistan went unnoticed at a local Texaco station due to a brake job being performed on a 1979 Plymouth Volare.

"Well that compressor can be loud as all heck,” said head mechanic Leo Tuttle. “It might as well be Daisy Duke on the tube, but if I can’t get Mayor Ellis’ baby running again, well, I tell you what...”

According to filling station owner John Babcock, this isn't the first time the rural Georgia residents have missed a news story due to the noisy compressor. They didn't hear about the World Trade Center tragedy until a few weeks ago, when someone happened to mention it in church.

The gas station's only source of news and information, a scratchy black and white Zenith mounted on a drum of Zeppo Motor Oil using rabbit ears constructed from pieces of broken muffler, tops out at only 43 decibels. The air compressor reaches levels nearly 300 times that number.

When asked about the continued bloodshed between the Israelis and the Palestinians, Babcock explained that the Tezzer 2000 Air Compressor operates with a 30 hp motor trapping a minimum of 50lbs of air, and then retaining that pressure for up to 3 hours, making it the loudest machine in the Macon County.

In addition to the Middle East conflict, Tuttle and the other mechanics are unaware of the the Enron scandal, the Olympic Games and any national election since Reagan's second term.

“Judge Judy’s real nice though,” Tuttle points out, referring a program they saw last spring when the compressor motor suffered a belt injury. "And that's a program we can admire without any volume."

Experts predict within three months, Mideast violence will rise and the chassis of the Plymouth will fall.

 

 

Photo: Mechanics pose in front of the old TV set that can't be heard over the air compressor.

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