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HOBOKEN, NJ —The National Coalition Against Domestic
Violence reversed over 30 years of tradition today, naming
the mesh half-shirt as the official undergarment of domestic
violence. The news came as a shock to underwear giants Hanes
and Fruit of the Loom, whose white, sleeveless cotton "wife-beater"
T-shirt has held the honorary title since 1968.
"Quite honestly, we're still grappling with the ramifications
of this announcement," said Hanes President, James Teagle
in a recent phone interview. "I'm sad to report we don't
even manufacture the mesh shirt."
The white sleeveless T-shirt's connection to domestic violence
was first solidified by longtime wife beater, Ike Turner in
the late 60's, followed by the 1970's machismo seen in such
films as Rocky and The Godfather trilogy. A substantial decline
in sales occurred in 1979, when the construction worker from
The Village People began wearing the shirt on a regular basis.
It took almost 10 years and the reality TV show Cops
before sales numbers returned to pre-disco era levels.
The original "wife-beater" features cut off sleeves,
plunging neckline and easily shrinkable fabric that accentuates
the curves of its male wearers. The mesh shirt, however, features
exposed midriff, as well as a breathable faux-lycron fabric,
which is very popular with younger consumers.
Fruit of the Loom has plans to immediately rename its white
sleeveless T-shirt "the Goomba," in honor of the
turn-of-the-century Italian Americans who first popularized
the top as not only underwear, but outerwear as well.
NCADV spokesman, Randy Wentworth apologized for the decision,
but explained the original wife-beater had lost touch with
the middle American public in recent years, citing numerous
examples of boybands and homosexuals wearing the shirts in
public.
In response, the organization broke with tradition and chose
the mesh half-shirt, a garment not seen since the mid-80's,
as the official "wife-beater" of the 21st
century.
"Anybody can wear a white sleeveless t-shirt nowadays,"
Wentworth said. "But wearing a mesh half-shirt is a clear
indicator that you are both an alcoholic and a wife abuser."
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Above: On the catwalk, Billy
introduces the new design
Ike Turner, circa 1968: wife beater and Hanes
wearer
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