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HOBOKEN, NJ —The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reversed over 30 years of tradition today, naming the mesh half-shirt as the official undergarment of domestic violence. The news came as a shock to underwear giants Hanes and Fruit of the Loom, whose white, sleeveless cotton "wife-beater" T-shirt has held the honorary title since 1968.

"Quite honestly, we're still grappling with the ramifications of this announcement," said Hanes President, James Teagle in a recent phone interview. "I'm sad to report we don't even manufacture the mesh shirt."

The white sleeveless T-shirt's connection to domestic violence was first solidified by longtime wife beater, Ike Turner in the late 60's, followed by the 1970's machismo seen in such films as Rocky and The Godfather trilogy. A substantial decline in sales occurred in 1979, when the construction worker from The Village People began wearing the shirt on a regular basis. It took almost 10 years and the reality TV show Cops before sales numbers returned to pre-disco era levels.

The original "wife-beater" features cut off sleeves, plunging neckline and easily shrinkable fabric that accentuates the curves of its male wearers. The mesh shirt, however, features exposed midriff, as well as a breathable faux-lycron fabric, which is very popular with younger consumers.

Fruit of the Loom has plans to immediately rename its white sleeveless T-shirt "the Goomba," in honor of the turn-of-the-century Italian Americans who first popularized the top as not only underwear, but outerwear as well.

NCADV spokesman, Randy Wentworth apologized for the decision, but explained the original wife-beater had lost touch with the middle American public in recent years, citing numerous examples of boybands and homosexuals wearing the shirts in public.

In response, the organization broke with tradition and chose the mesh half-shirt, a garment not seen since the mid-80's, as the official "wife-beater" of the 21st century.

"Anybody can wear a white sleeveless t-shirt nowadays," Wentworth said. "But wearing a mesh half-shirt is a clear indicator that you are both an alcoholic and a wife abuser."

Above: On the catwalk, Billy introduces the new design

 

Ike Turner, circa 1968: wife beater and Hanes wearer

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