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"For the last
time, I don't need anyone to rehearse lines with. Leave me alone
or I'm calling the police!"
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—Tony Danza
to Bob From Accounting
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BOB NOT INVITED TO HOST/ATTEND OSCARS FOR 43RD STRAIGHT YEAR
Though not surprised, Bob still checked his mailbox frequently during recent weeks in hopes of either winning a sweepstakes or getting word that Andie MacDowell's date backed out at the last minute. Instead, Whoopi Goldberg was tapped to host the show for the 4th time, leaving many in the entertainment industry angry and confused. "Bob is like the Susan Lucci of the movie world, said one fan who would like to remain anonymous. "Except he's really not in the movie world at all, is he? Nevermind." Reprinted from Bob's private journal Dear Journal, You'll be happy to know that when I went outside, the angry janitor was sleeping right outside my door. It was kinda cute -- he looked just like a little baby all curled up with that bowie knife clenched in his hand. I decided to put a blanket over him, since it's about 30 degrees outside. I'm at work, typing this right now. I've got so much paperwork to catch up on, but I can't help thinking about that shivering homicidal maniac sleeping on my porch. I've also been thinking a lot about Kim Soo (as usual) I just saw her talking to that bastard, Phil from collections. I realize I need to do something soon that will impress her, like finishing that book and/or screenplay I've been writing. I'd really like to have it done so I can attend next years Oscars. Maybe I'll call in sick and work on it. READ MORE OF BOB'S JOURNAL» HAPPY EASTER, BOB
From Archives NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC FINDS AFGHAN GIRL FROM FAMOUS PHOTO
WASHINGTON (AP) - Seventeen years ago an Afghan girl, orphaned and living in a refugee camp, appeared on the cover of National Geographic. The girl, with her haunting green eyes and a red scarf draped loosely over her hair, became one of the most recognized faces in the world. Now, the magazine says it has finally tracked down the subject of that famous photo after years of searching. With the exception of a pair of thick, black-rimmed glasses and tufts of red facial hair, very little has changed in the woman's appearance, despite years of poverty and harsh living conditions. She still has the same look of innocence and determination in her eyes that caught the attention of the photographer all those years ago. The original photograph was named in the top 100 photos ever published by National Geographic Magazine. The recent photo has yet to win any awards. BOB FROM ACCOUNTING UNEARTHED!!
In what has been described as a true
holiday miracle, Bob From Accounting was discovered alive Saturday
in an underground Y2K shelter he's been sealed inside since New
Year's Eve, 1999. With his food supply
dwindling and severe boredom setting in, the confused accountant
was prepared to face battle with what he referred to as “the
race of ape-like men who now habitate the Earth.” (read article)
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FEATURES
Boy Who Cried Wolf Gets Testicles
Showbiz Haley Joel Osment Receives Lifetime Achievement Award OPINION
Halle Berry, The First African-American, Best-Actress-Winning, Hit-and-Run-Driver
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For
the 43rd year in a row, Bob from Accounting was denied an invitation
to either host or attend the Academy Awards Ceremony held Sunday
at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood.
Girl in 1984; and today
| © Copyright 2002 Bob From Accounting & Orange Planet Entertainment - All rights reserved. So don't steal -- that means you too, Mr. Steven Spielberg. |