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BEIRUT (bobfromaccounting.com) —
In an unusual display of unity among Mideast leaders, the
Arab League of 22 countries called an emergency summit Thursday
to standardize Jewish slurs for use at future summits.
Arab League Secretary General Amr Moussa
convened the meeting when it became readily apparent that
the slurs used to describe the Israeli occupiers greatly varied
depending on what country was involved. The wide array of
dialects and languages became confusing and difficult to understand.
While Palestinian militants referred to the
Israelis as "Al Halsuada" or "the evil dogs,"
others in the Arab world used a derivation of "Satan's
dogs" or sometimes "Satan's pigs." Hizbollah
fighters, in a translation from Lebanese, referred to the
Jews as "evil, big-nosed Muslim-haters" and still
others living in refugee camps were partial to calling Israelis
"rich, jihad-worthy, baby killers."
Members of the Egyptian Jihad, however, combined
many of these slurs by using the standard Arabic "kosher
scum-sucking pigs with machine guns," while Syrians used
an even larger combination of slurs, which when loosely translated,
refer to the Jews as "arrogant, bagel-eating communists
that read books backward."
"Clearly we need some standardization
when it comes to denigrating Jews," Moussa said. "While
everyone has a favorite, we think the results of this summit
will be helpful to make our hatred more understandable for
future summits."
After two days of arguing, the final statement,
issued by Saudi Foreign Affairs Minister Saud al-Faisal read
as follows:
"For all formal Arab sessions, Israelis
and Jews will now be referred as "land stealing Moses-lovers"
and during casual conversation as "rich fucking Jew bastards
who wear the funny beanies and eat our children during holidays."
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