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The Treasury Department this week released the stunning results
of an economic study, showing the United States could face
'a serious risk of recession' in the event of a massive nuclear
attack. That, and most of us would be dead.
The study, conducted by 32 of the world's most highly-paid
economists, concludes that nuclear Armageddon might seriously
affect the nations' commerce and industry, which in turn would
cause 'a sizable economic downturn.'
"This report paints an ugly picture," Treasury
Secretary Paul O'Neill said. "Imagine New York, L.A.,
and Chicago being incinerated by nuclear devices. Tens of
millions of American consumers killed, and thus unable to
work and spend. Hundreds of millions more too sick from nuclear
fallout to frequent the nations' stores. It's very possible
such a tragic event could reverse the recovery our economy
has made over the past six months.
O'Neill said the study itself stops short of using the term
"recession," but it paints a grim picture for the
profit margins of the nation's Fortune 500 corporations. "A
sustained attack against America from Iraqi or Pakistani thermonuclear
missiles is estimated to make a serious dent in corporate
operating profits, with the energy and technology sectors
facing declines as high as 8%."
This would, according to O'Neill, lead to a further increase
in the U.S.'s jobless rate which would have already resulted
from the instant vaporization of 10 to 30 percent of our workforce.
Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan's reaction to the
study is also bleak. "At primary issue is the effect
the massive atomic destruction would have on inflation,"
Greenspan said. "The immediate drop in demand for consumer
goods along with the long-term decline in population caused
by radiation-induced sterility -- would almost certainly lead
to higher prices. By then, interest rates could plummet to
levels that would make lending close to unprofitable for banks.
I shudder to think what would happen if Sallie Mae doesn't
reach its earnings objectives."
The White House has yet to make an official response to
the alarming study, but Vice President Dick Cheney personally
praised the study as a validation of what the Bush Administration
has pushed for all along.
"Lower taxes, smaller government, Alaskan oil drilling,"
Cheney said. "It is vital we cut through the red tape
and get started on these things. I'm not sure yet why they
are relevant to nuclear war. But rest assured, I'll think
of something."
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