BFA GUIDE:
HOW TO EXPLAIN THE WAR TO YOUR RETARDED CHILDREN
War
is never easy to explain to children. It's even harder to
explain to retarded children. As parents, we feel the need
to reassure our kids that everything will be all right, but
if your children are retarded, they will never be able to
function normally in society no matter how much you reassure
them. Therefore, the editors of Bobfromaccounting.com have
put together a step-by-step guide on how to confront this
delicate topic. More»
4.9.03 — Hi.
We're back. We had a short but unannounced "break."
That okay with you? Based on your emails, I would say the
answer is probably no. The reason for the break was simple.
I was sick with the flu. It seems that when I'm sick, everything
sort of falls apart here at BFA headquarters--sort of like
what just happened to the Iraqi regime when Saddam bailed
--except with less looting and more phlegm. See, guys like
Saddam and me aren't willing to just hand off the reigns to
others -- even temporarily -- just cuz we're a little incapacitated.
Sure, that crybaby David Letterman gets the shingles and he's
suddenly got a lineup of substitute hosts like Bruce Willis
or Vince Vaughn to take over. Nope, not me. If I'm sick, I'm
taking everyone down with me. That's true leadership.
Since I like to look on the
positive side, I am thankful I don't have shingles or SARS
and I am thankful I got to catch up on all the daytime television
I've missed over the last five years. By the way, they have
a new female judge on "The People's Court." Also,
Ricki Lake got kinda good-looking. And "Zoom" is
back on the air on PBS. When the hell did all this happen?
One more thing -- the war seems to be over. It happened while
I was taking a nap.
The important thing is that
we have a new and somewhat outdated issue that you're sure
to love. Thanks again for your well wishes. See ya next week.
Scooter
Cruel,
Cruel Email From Deep Within the Bowels of Slacker Hell. SHIZZY'S MAILBAG
**New letters 4.22.03
1970's
Chinese action star, Yu Weng Po (aka Jimmy Wang) offers
advice for losers, substance abusers and flabby, out-of-shape
Americans.
War
is never easy to explain to children. It's even harder to
explain to retarded children. As parents, we feel the need
to reassure our kids that everything will be all right, but
if your children are retarded, they will never be able to
function normally in society no matter how much you reassure
them. Therefore, the editors of Bobfromaccounting.com have
put together a step-by-step guide on how to confront this
delicate topic. 
