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Ft. Lauderdale, FL -- Government scientists tracking
a solar hurricane off the Florida coast were baffled as to
why it might have affected the blatant homosexuality of Donny-Jo
Blythe, who was picked up Wednesday outside a restricted naval
base claiming amnesia, headaches, and a sudden interest in
female genitalia.
"I've been studying hurricanes and solar
phenomenon for 35 years and I've never seen something as strange
as what happened to Mr. Blythe," senior meteorologist
Doug Tanner said. "I wish I could explain it but frankly,
I'd rather not think too hard about it."
Blythe, a stay-at-home-dad to his three Yorkshire
Terriers, never had any heterosexual thoughts, especially
while watching Ryan Seacrest host "American Idol,"
which is the last thing he remembers before waking up in military
hospital.
"I woke up and even though I was surrounded
by a bunch of men in hospital robes, it really didn't do anything
for me," Blythe insisted. "Nope, I tell you I'm
straight and I can be completely trusted in the ICU among
the unconscious GI's whom I'd just like to help nurse back
to health as a thank you for serving our country so well."
Magnetic solar storms, cause by a burst of
charged particles from the sun hitting the Earth's magnetic
field, often cause electronic glitches and damage power grids,
leading to vast power outages.
This is the first case where a hurricane appears
to affect how someone feels about Ryan Seacrest.
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Photos:
Donny-Jo Blythe blames a solar hurrican for his total disinterest
in "American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest.
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