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Chicago, IL — After more than four years of dating and trial breakups, Chuck Gurney and Sandy Cooper finally decided to call it quits after a session of "make-up sex" was described by both as lousy and uninspiring.

"It's over for good this time," Cooper said adamantly. "When the make-up sex goes, what else do you have to look forward to? Kids? Ha!"

Gurney responded in kind, and admitted when he was pushing [Cooper's] face into the headboard, he was still brewing about the earlier exchange which included nasty comments about his lack of a job or money and further escalated when he called her, "daddy's spoiled little whore."

"My heart really wasn't into it," Gurney said. "To me, it wasn't really make-up sex because I only apologized so she would shut the hell up. Then, in the middle of it, I called her 'Daddy's little whore' again, but actually at the time I thought it would be a turn-on. Turns out it wasn't."

Among couples, make-up sex is often described as one of the most intense sexual experiences of any relationship, and usually occurs within minutes following a big fight. According to sexperts, some couples initiate arguments simply in anticipation of a hot apology session. This can be a big mistake.

"Usually the more intense the fighting, the more intense the sex," sex therapist Paula Dubrow explained. "The mistake some couples make is confusing make-up sex with 'hate-fucking,' which occurs when one partner is jamming away violently and usually trying to 'drill home a point.' Often there is accompanying dialogue, such as, 'how do you like that, bitch?' And just as often, one partner's muffled cries are drowned out by a pillow."

As far as Sandy is concerned, something like that would have been an improvement to their post-argument sex life.

"I've had vibrators more responsive than Chuck," Cooper said. "He fell asleep within five minutes and didn't even ask me if I had an orgasm. Well, the answer is no. Not even close. Not even in the ballpark."

"Oh yeah? Is that right?" Gurney responded while tearing off his shirt. "We'll just see about that!"

 

Above: Lousy make-up sex finally ended an already horrible relationship


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