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A LETTER TO MY GRANDFATHER
Dear Grandpa,
I know it's been awhile since I've
written to you, but I know that life is short and you should tell
people how you really feel about them when you get the chance. That's
why I'm writing this letter. You've always been a wonderful grandfather
and you taught me lots of lessons and gave me advice and I just
wanted to thank you and tell you I could have never started the
Bob From Accounting website if it hadn't been for you. When I saw
you last week , I swelled up with pride because you are so special
and I'm a part of your legacy. I couldn't be prouder.
Here's the thing, Gramps. Lately,
you smell kind of funny and I thought that someone should tell you
because I know that if Grandma were alive she would be concerned
that you might not be bathing enough. As people get older, their
skin gets kind of crusty and gross anyway, so you really have to
scrub harder. And brush your teeth, because frankly, your breath
smells like ass.
I know that just like I would expect
you to tell me if I smelled bad, you would want me to do the same.
This doesn't in any way affect how I feel about you or how much
I love you. But you smell. Seriously. Use soap.
You were always there for me growing
up, Grandpa. You came to all my soccer games and it meant so much
to see you in the stands cheering me on and encouraging me even
when I failed and afterwards you always would buy me an ice cream
cone.
If it werent for you, I wouldn't
have such a strong sense of family and good moral strength. You
gave me those things, and I know when I have children I will pass
on the wise words of advice you've given me over the years. The
same way I know you'll listen to my advice and take a long hot shower
immediately.
Thank you for the genes of intelligence,
creativity and humor. I know these were passed on by you because
dad couldn't read or write and mom was basically a whore.
That's all I have to say. I love
you very much, Grandpa even though you stink like ballsweat.
Your Grandson,
Scooter
P.S. Don't forget the soap.
SEND
THIS TO A FRIEND!
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