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BAGHDAD - The U.S led efforts to help reconstruct
Iraq hit a snag Wednesday when officials suddenly ran out
of Legos, according to retired Gen. Jay Garner, who is heading
the task of rebuilding the Iraqi infrastructure before a replacement
government can take shape.
"We were putting the finishing touches on the new Ministry
of Information -- it even had cute little doors and other
moving parts -- when we realized we ran out of Lego windows,"
Garner said. "Obviously, you can't really reconstruct
a town without having windows. That would be foolhardy."
U.S officials, embarrassed by their apparent lack of preparation
before they began the rebuilding process, tried to shed a
better light on the obvious blunder.
"We obviously have contingencies for this and other
problems that might arise," Defense Secretary Donald
Rumsfeld explained after repeated questions about the obvious
lack of windows in the new Lego Baghdad. "For the time
being, we'll use shards of broken glass left over from all
the looting."
White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer stated the President
was aware of the problem, and he had been on the phone all
morning with Washington-area toy distributors.
"These are just models," Fleischer explained. "They
are just representative of what the new Baghdad and greater
Iraq will look like. Eventually, the real Ministry of Information
building will have windows, President Bush made that very
clear."
Representatives of the Arab League were highly critical of
the new Iraq and remarked that it appeared too Westernized
and not what the Iraqi people wanted.
Pakistani Foreign Minister Kursheed Kasuri agreed, saying
that several Starbucks and Baskin-Robbins franchises built
in the scale model were heavily influenced by American culture
and need to be removed immediately.
"I repeat, we not here to assert our control over the
Iraqi people and tell them how the new Iraq should look and
feel,," Garner said to a group of Shiite leaders gathered
for talks. "We merely thought the idea of having a couple
of conveniently placed ice cream parlors and coffee shops
would be welcomed."
Added Garner, "and if you decide later that you want
to trade --say a barrel of oil for a tub of Fudge Nut Ripple,
then great. We can handle that. It's up to the Iraqi people
to decide."
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