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Seattle, WA — When Cindy Jacobs finally left
the accounting firm of Bruce Simon & Associates after
a three month internship, she seemed to take the wind out
of the sails of the 50-person office almost immediately.
"It was as if a part of us had died," accountant
John Billmer said. "As if a beautiful, innocent butterfly
was accidentally crushed beneath a clumsy shoe. Now she's
gone and the colors just won't be as bright. Food won't taste
as good. Nothing will ever be the same."
Jacobs decided to finally leave the firm after the late night
hours and overtime began to interfere with her college studies
and personal life.
"There just weren't enough hours in the day for my studies
or anything else. It seemed that anytime I started dating
anyone, there would always be some kind of office emergency
that would require lots extra hours," Jacobs says wistfully.
"It became impossible to date anyone outside the office.
I tried to save time by showering at work and they even set
up a special gym in the break room so I could do my yoga and
pilates. They were so good to me."
On her last day, the partners threw a special party, with
cake and a endless supply of vodka. During the emotional speeches,
several workers made sure to hand Jacobs a business card,
offering her future employment or a place to stay should she
ever get in a desperate situation where she could no longer
afford her dorm fees.
"We will really miss Cindy and we are very, very sad
to see her go," partner William Simon said, his voice
breaking several times. "It's as if part of the soul
of our office is leaving us. I'm not sure if she can ever
be replaced -- and certainly not by that fat dimwit they sent
today from the temp agency."
"Miss Jacobs was the best," Senior Vice President
Stu Meyer said. "And I'm not just talking about her duties
of sorting office supplies and organizing the files -- which
I personally supervised and trained her to do-- but she had
a certain quality that our previous interns never had. She
was like a breath of fresh, delicious air, wrapped up in flowing
tresses and an occasional haltertop.
"The thought of not seeing her stretched out on the
yoga mat Monday morning is just something I don't want to
even think about. I just want to die. Just die."
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