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Rolla, MO - During a membership drive, the Glee Club
of the University of Missouri-Rolla admitted publicly they
were guilty of harsh hazing practices that endangered the
safety of their members and should be admonished by the school.
Nobody seemed to care.
"Becoming a member of our glee club is not for sissies,"
founding tenor Charles Farnsworth screamed at two prospective
candidates during a recent meet-and-greet. "Only the
toughest, coolest people who can endure our brutal fraternal
rituals will make it to become full members."
An hour long video of the prospective members being beaten
with a wooden paddle was anonymously sent to the university
chancellor Mary Travers, presumably by members of the glee
club themselves.
"We're not concerned," laughed Travers. "They're
in the glee club for God's sake. How much harm could they
cause?"
The Glee Club, suffering from low turnout in years past,
insists they are not promoting hazing as a way to change their
image among other students. They say they just like "living
on the edge."
"We're mavericks. Our hazing practices are archaic and
illegal. Someone needs to do something quickly before someone
gets hurt or even worse. We must be stopped!"
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