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Baghdad, IRAQ - Following weeks of insurgency attacks
against U.S. troops, ground commander Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez
announced a new initiative meant to help forces distinguish
between "good Iraqi civilians and other people who are
just trying to kill us."
The plan would allow Marines patrolling Najaf, Karbala and
other Iraqi hotspots experiencing prolonged battles with the
militia of Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, to more easily determine
who is the actual enemy.
"We first got the idea during when some soldiers were
unwinding with a game of touch football, " Maj. Jeffrey
West said during a press conference Thursday. "We thought,
wow, it's so easy to know who to tackle or pass to because
half the guys are wearing shirts and others aren't. It seems
simple but the best plans usually are."
The Pentagon along with Secretary of Defense
Donald Rumsfeld quickly approved the plan, and drew up rules
over how to determine who would be "skins" and who
would be "shirts."
"We're hoping the insurgents will agree
to be skins, since they won't have to worry about uniforms
and it's more casual obviously," Rumsfeld said. "Plus,
it's really hot out there."
A spokesman for al-Sadr released a statement agreeing to
the new rules but on the condition that they be allowed to
be "shirts," since most of his militia is "a
little pasty from wearing robes and masks all day and don't
really have a base tan."
Further, the statement made mention of "self-conscious
and somewhat overweight freedom fighters who just don't want
to walk around getting teased."
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