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Newport, RI - Prom night for Melissa Katzen meant
wearing a brand new dress, riding in a limousine and being
escorted to the dance by Trent Freegan, star athlete and the
most popular boy in her high school class.
What it didn't mean was giving up her virginity, despite
an expensive dinner and a $500- per-night luxury hotel suite
paid for by Freegan and several of his football teammates.
"I thought we were going to stay up all night and play
games and maybe even sip some alcohol. Then he got on the
bed and told me he wanted me 'to go downtown.' I was like,
'huh? Aren't we already downtown?'"
Now ostracized for spending the night fully clothed with
one foot on the floor, Katzen has lost all of the popular
friends she worked tirelessly to earn over the course of her
high school career.
"My parents had to change our phone number. We received
threatening letters and in the middle of the night someone
trimmed our hedges to resemble a giant vagina. And I noticed
that the hymen was no longer intact, which was obviously done
on purpose."
In addition, since Freegan went public with his gripe, Katzen
suddenly received rejection letters from several prestigious
colleges she had previously been accepted to, along with an
explanation that they wanted to avoid the kind of negative
publicity associated with frigid and/or prude girls.
University of Pennsylvania Admissions Director Carl Epperly
felt strongly that while it's perfectly acceptable to be a
virgin, it was not acceptable to "just lay motionless
on a hotel bed next to a boy and not thank him properly for
an evening of dinner and dancing. That's just not right."
Melissa Katzen disagrees, saying that she shouldn't be judged
by her closely-guarded virginity -- she should be judged by
four years of hard work, several extra curricular activities
and a college essay about why she's never had sex.
In a letter, Melissa's parents reassured college admission
boards they were confident that, like most 18-year-old females
with high ideals, their daughter will eventually become more
and more slutty and insecure, and eventually appear on a reality
TV show where she will have sex with a handsome bachelor in
front of a national audience.
Melissa's parents then reimbursed Trent Freegan for the cost
of the hotel room.
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