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CHICAGO, IL -We've all heard stories of identical
twins being able to share each other's thoughts, feelings
and emotions. For 34-year-old conjoined twins Roy and Charlie
Yang, they share one more thing: pure unbridled hatred for
each other.
"My brother is a dumb fucking goon and I hope he gets
hit by a truck," Roy said as he slammed his brother's
head into the wall. "Someone please get me an ax right
now."
Being a conjoined twin isn't easy, they both agree. There
are the stares, the remarks, the difficulty finding two-headed
clothing. There are the same questions repeated again and
again-- are you best friends? Do you feel each other's pain?
"How do you have sex?"
"How the fuck do you think we have sex?" Roy said.
"We don't. I mean look at us!"
Charlie, a postal worker who shares several organs and retains
100% control of his penis and right hand, loves his brother
and wants to stay attached forever. Roy, however, doesn't
share the same sentiment.
"He punched me in the face last year and I called the
cops," Roy said. "They threw his ass in jail. The
unfortunate part is that I had to go with him. And to make
matters worse, it's my side that controls our ass, which was
sodomized repeatedly.
Roy needed heavy sedation Wednesday after nearly losing
it publicly in a suburban Wal-Mart -- the nation's largest
supplier of two-headed shirts and three/four-legged pants--
after his brother scared away a girl he was flirting with.
"Get this thing off of me!" Roy screamed as the
medication started to take effect. "I can't take it anymore!"
Edna Yang, the twins’ mother, loves her children dearly
and goes out of her way to treat them like everybody else.
"I always stare," she said. "I just can’t
help it. It’s really, really weird. I mean, have you
seen ‘em? I guess that my peyote diet during pregnancy
was probably a mistake. Sorry guys."
Roy, who is 30 seconds older than Charlie, said if he could
have one wish, it would be to have himself disconnected from
his brother and then watch as he's tossed in a vat of acid,
screaming and still conscious.
"But I'd settle for control of my penis and right hand."
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