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Los Angeles, CA — After nearly twenty years of
panhandling and preaching to passerbys, homeless man Marty
Ludlow finally admitted he's probably not Jesus Christ, and
apologized if he gave anyone the wrong impression.
"I'm sorry if people thought I was the incarnated human
form of the Holy Ghost, Ludlow, 48, said at a press conference
early Wednesday. "I know I may have used that line several
times, but hey, I was drunk and it works great. I'm really
sorry for not being totally clear on this. I realize now that
I'm probably not Jesus Christ and I apologize to anyone
who gave me money just in case."
According to West Hollywood residents where Ludlow would
regularly panhandle, the bearded transient not only claimed
he was Jesus Christ, but also carried around a sign that said
"I'm Jesus Christ."
"He would tell everyone he was Jesus and if we ignored
his wishes to buy him a 40-ounce Michelob, we would be be
screwed for life," resident Sonya Redding said. "At
first I ignored him, but after he insisted again and again
he was Jesus, I felt I should try to help him -- you know,
just in case. Then he stole my watch."
Ludlow also carried signs that read, "Give me money
and I promise you'll get into heaven," "I died for
your sins so gimme some change," "I'm Jesus and
I also served in Vietnam," and "I'm Jesus and if
you don't buy me a sandwich, you will most likely burn in
the fiery pits of hell for all eternity."
As part of his probation agreement, Ludlow has agreed to
carry a disclaimer which now clearly states he's most likely
not Jesus.
"See, it's written in the small print on the bottom
of this cardboard sign that says, 'I'm probably not Jesus,
even though I look exactly like him.'"
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Photo:
Homeless man Marty Ludlow says now that he's "probably
not Jesus Christ after all."
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