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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite a budget crisis, a
dozen recent American casualties in Iraq, and a Supreme Court
repeal of the nation's 150-year-old sodomy laws, Pentagon
workers were determined to put on a happy face by taking part
in Friday's mandatory "funny hat day," imposed by
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
After several tension-filled weeks of the continued conflict
in Iraq, the first-ever Pentagon theme day brought a welcome
sense of forced relief and fun.
"What a great idea this was," a grinning Secretary
of Defense Donald Rumsfeld told reporters at the daily press
conference. "We're taking care of business in Iraq, we
continue to chase terrorists out of hiding around the world,
and yet see how goofy I look?"
Rumsfeld chose to sport a multicolored Viking hat, while Chairman
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Air Force Gen. Richard B. Myers
wore a novelty beverage-dispensing hat- complete with straws
and two unopened cans of Bud Light.
Following Rumsfeld at the podium, a stern-looking Deputy Secretary
of Defense Paul Wolfowitz updated the press corps on the latest
casualties in Iraq while wearing an oversized cowboy hat emblazoned
with the slogan "Kansas City is the Tops"
The theme day was not lost among the rank-and-file employees
at the Pentagon. Several Department of Defense staffers were
seen hustling down the halls of the building wearing giant
sombreros and not looking very pleased. Those who chose not
to participate were quietly terminated.
Even with the atmosphere filled with fake smiles and joking
around, many workers knew the feeling would not last, including
longtime Pentagon janitor Jeff Kelley.
"I don't care what they do to me, there's no way I'm
wearing pajamas to work next week."
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Above:
"Look at me, I'm a Viking!"
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