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  by Tyler Reisinger


WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite a budget crisis, a dozen recent American casualties in Iraq, and a Supreme Court repeal of the nation's 150-year-old sodomy laws, Pentagon workers were determined to put on a happy face by taking part in Friday's mandatory "funny hat day," imposed by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

After several tension-filled weeks of the continued conflict in Iraq, the first-ever Pentagon theme day brought a welcome sense of forced relief and fun.

"What a great idea this was," a grinning Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld told reporters at the daily press conference. "We're taking care of business in Iraq, we continue to chase terrorists out of hiding around the world, and yet see how goofy I look?"

Rumsfeld chose to sport a multicolored Viking hat, while Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Air Force Gen. Richard B. Myers wore a novelty beverage-dispensing hat- complete with straws and two unopened cans of Bud Light.

Following Rumsfeld at the podium, a stern-looking Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz updated the press corps on the latest casualties in Iraq while wearing an oversized cowboy hat emblazoned with the slogan "Kansas City is the Tops"

The theme day was not lost among the rank-and-file employees at the Pentagon. Several Department of Defense staffers were seen hustling down the halls of the building wearing giant sombreros and not looking very pleased. Those who chose not to participate were quietly terminated.

Even with the atmosphere filled with fake smiles and joking around, many workers knew the feeling would not last, including longtime Pentagon janitor Jeff Kelley.

"I don't care what they do to me, there's no way I'm wearing pajamas to work next week."

 

Above: "Look at me, I'm a Viking!"


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