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In an exclusive interview acquired
by the editors of Bobfromaccounting.com, two New York City
prostitutes finally break their silence on the upcoming Presidential
race.
In an effort to protect their identities, we've used fake
names during the interview.
BFA: I'd like to first thank you for sharing your
opinions with our readers. What is your take on the Bush/Kerry
fight for the White House?
WHORE #1: Are you a cop?
BFA: No, I'm not a cop. I'm a journalist. I wanted
to get your thoughts on the upcoming Presidential race.
WHORE #2: You look like a cop. Are you a cop?
BFA: No, I'm just trying to talk to regular people
and see how they might vote in November.
WHORE #1 We ain't regular people. We're whores. But
whores who care about the future of this great country. I
vote for Bill Clinton.
BFA: I see. Typically, women of your stature tend
to vote liberal -- a straight Democratic ticket. Is that how
you will vote?
WHORE #1: What do you want from me? Please leave me
alone! I'm so tired. So tired.
BFA: I'm sorry. I just wanted to know -- actually
I see that you have John Kerry's face tattooed on your arm.
I guess that means you're a Kerry supporter.
WHORE #1: It ain't John Kerry, those are collapsed
spider veins. So, do you like me?
BFA: Yes, you are very nice. Can you tell me what
campaign issues most concern you?
WHORE #1: I vote for condoms in school lunches. I
mean milk.
WHORE #2: Umm... immigration and the environment.
Also, I feel it's not a crime to urinate outdoors if you aim
away from people.
WHORE #1: All citizens should receive free healthcare
and yeast infection kits. I'm practically growing French bread
in my pants right now. Wanna go to Paris, baby?
BFA: No thanks. Oh and could you please stop cupping
my balls. It's distracting.
WHORE #2: Also, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
And if that means sticking your Mr. Winkers through a 'glory
hole' at that truckstop off I-95, then that's nobody's business
but me and the guy at the other end of the stall. Privacy
is very important to me.
BFA: Well, privacy has definitely been a hot button
topic and the Democrats usually run stronger on environmental
issues. So does that mean you will vote for Kerry?
WHORE #1: What can I get for you baby -- what do ya
want? You want anything? A little tug tug maybe? Give mama
some sugar.
SLIGHT STRUGGLE ENSUES. DIFFICULT TO TRANSCRIBE TONGUE
FLICKING NOISES
BFA: Could you please just tell us how you feel about
George W. Bush? Do you like him?
WHORE #1: Do I like him? Do I like him? What was the
question again?
WHORE #2: I once dated John Kerry.
BFA: Really?
WHORE #2: We were young and in love. I was just an
beautiful, innocent girl back then. He was a handsome boy
who wanted to save the world.
BFA: Wow, that's amazing. So what happened?
WHORE #2: Sadly I was a wrong side of tracks kind
of girl who wouldn't fit in with the high society crowd. We
were from two different worlds and others tried to keep us
apart -- just like Romeo and Juliet. In retrospect, it was
a beautiful way to experience rough anal sex for the first
time.
BFA: Uh huh. My question is who do you think will
win the election -- John Kerry or do you like Bush?
WHORE #2: He said lick Bush.
WHORE #1: I don't do that on a first date --unless
I really really like the guy.
BFA: I said like Bush -- as in President George
W. Bush. Do you want Bush to be reelected?
WHORE #1: Oh that guy? Yeah, I think he'll definitely
win.
WHORE #2: Me too. Now ask us something else, college
boy-- only this time, lemme see your penis!
SLIGHT STRUGGLE ENSUES
END OF TRANSCRIPT
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