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WEST VIRGINIA - Some say that Fanny "Fatty" Fattikins was destined to be overweight when just 10 minutes after her birth, her parents, Big Al Fattikins and Big Flo Fattikins picked out a name for their newborn daughter. A name that some say led to her ballooning to nearly 250 pounds by the age of 13.

"I'm not sure what the heck happened but it ain't my fault," father Big Al said. "Fatty— I mean Fanny—always ate exactly the same waffle and fried chicken portions as her big brothers and she had plenty of excercise when the local boys would tease her and chase her up that damn mountain."

"That's right, we have always loved our little Fatty — I mean Fanny," mother Flo said. "Fanny is a wonderful girl and not matter how fat Fanny is, she's still our big fatty — I mean Fanny."

According to teachers at Pleasant Bluff Elementary school, the taunting began on the first day of school and continued until she finally dropped out during her sophomore year.

"I made sure to tell everyone in the class not to stare at Fanny because she was so fat," teacher Shirley Billford recalled. "I explained that girls like Fatty Fanny are just like everyone else — except much, much fatter. That seemed to make Fatty Fanny feel fine."

After two years of homeschooling and all day access to the family refrigerator, Fattikins' weight rose to 400 pounds and she became restricted to loose-fitting housedresses.

Bertha Berntree, a seamstress at the "Muu-Muu Mart" in downtown Pleasant Bluff and lifelong friend of Fattikins, was the first to suggest last month that perhaps the name had something to do with her large size.

"How can anyone go through life as a skinny girl with such a fat name?" Berntree asked. "Obviously, it's her parents fault for naming her Fatty Fanny. That is her name, isn't it?"

 

Above: Fatty Fattikins feels fine.


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