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Humor
Links Below
Please
don't use them. Please. I'm asking you nicely. Stay here.
It's nice and warm here. Fine, pants are optional.
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BOB FINDS RELIGION, LOSES PANTS
Reprinted from Bob's Journal
Dear Journal,
This morning Ziggy and I decided to tell Paprika
about our plans to meet Tony Danza to help get our careers off
the ground. At first Paprika wasn't paying much attention to us
since she was in the middle of having sex with a client, but then
when I explained that Tony has all kinds of Hollywood connections
and he could probably help all of us, she suddenly stopped having
sex and listened. She asked if we thought Tony could give her
new teeth and I told her that he's very weathly from his "Who's
the Boss" residuals and I bet he would do that to help a
fellow performer. So now Paprika's coming with us. We're all so
excited we can barely sleep!
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 EDITOR'S
RANT
Dear
Minions,
Sorry
for the lapse last week, but as patriotic, Bush-fearing Americans,
we at BFA felt it was our duty to take a week off and pay
tribute to our great nation's birthday, as well as protest
the inhumane treatment of Michael Jackson by the white establishment.
Fighting oppression and drinking is what we, at BFA, do best.
I should mention we're still accepting writers so if you think
you're funny, you probably aren't, but who are we to step
on your dream? Send us an email.
Scooter
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 Cruel,
Cruel Email From Deep Within the Bowels of Slacker Hell
SHIZZY'S
MAILBAG
New entries 7.10.02
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 1970's
Chinese action star, Jimmy "Yu" Weng Po offers
advice for losers, substance abusers and flabby, out-of-shape
Americans. Weekly.
ASK
YU New
Entries 7.10.02
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 Get
dating and relationship advice from Debby, the somewhat
bitter, mediocre-looking friend of several really hot chicks.
Weekly.
Read
Debby's Column New
Entries 7.10.02
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"Star-Crossed"
There once was a man who was smitten
But the object of his love was a kitten
Though he tried and he tried
His love was denied
For some reason he just couldn't fitten
Send
to us by Jeremy Markert, location unknown
Are you a crappy poet? Send
it in
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