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Washington, D.C. — According to a CIA intelligence
report the al Qaeda terrorist organization is busy putting
the finishing touches on a new bobsledding team as a means
of infiltrating the Olympic games in Athens this summer.
"Our agents uncovered the fact that there is absolutely
no bobsledding event at the summer Olympics," Acting
CIA Director John McLaughlin said. "We are proud that
with cooperation and coordination of several government agencies,
we were able to verify this was the case and
confirm they are probably up to no good."
The reports disclose that al Qaeda is now
actively operating a training facility for the new bobsledding
team and have even acquired a partially operational bobsled
from the French.
"It's just a matter of months -- maybe
weeks -- before that bobsled is fully operational and they
are able to successfully use it against us and our bobsledders
or those of our allies," McLaughlin said. "We absolutely
cannot let this happen."
Although the terror threat level would remain
the same, officials have asked that bobsledding facilities
around the globe be on the lookout for potential terrorists.
"If you see or hear something unusual
involving bobsledding or playing in or around the snow, especially
by people who are usually found in arid, desert environments,
you are asked to contact your local authorities," McLaughlin
said. "Obviously we don't want to target innocent bobsledders,
but Arabs are not generally known for their love of winter
sports."
According to reports, the al-Qaeda bobsledders
are doing well in early time trials and have recently
managed to get through the bobsledding course without screaming
in fear. It is generally thought that the al-Qaeda team hope
to not only eclipse the popularity of the Jamaican bobsledding
team, but also sell a lot more t-shirts.
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