|
Clinton, MS—WorldCom chief John Sidgmore announce
at a press conference Monday that the company, while regretting
its financial problems, hit an all-time low when its executives
were forced to swallow their pride and use 1-800-CALL-ATT
to notify loved ones it had filed for bankruptcy and might
be late for dinner.
"Sadly, I was forced to use the services of our biggest
competitor to break the news to my wife and mother-in-law,
who both happen to think I'm a total failure," Sidgmore
said, his voice cracking with emotion. But worst of all, I
had to sit through the humiliation of lengthy recorded message
by that ass hound Carrot Top while I placed the collect call
— I'm convinced he was mocking me."
The second largest telco in the nation filed late Sunday
with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for Chapter 11 protection in
the biggest-ever U.S. bankruptcy filing. It is seeking protection
from its creditors, listing $104 billion dollars in assets.
Sidgmore's own parents initially refused to accept the charges,
knowing full well that they could no long depend on their
only college-educated son and his large salary to pay for
their new dining room set. Finally, after listening to the
pathetic sobs on the other end, they relented.
"We, as parents, need to support our children in times
of crisis, even when they really, really screw up and blow
our retirement fund and totally jeopardize our standing at
the Florida retirement center. Now his wife, that's an entirely
different matter."
Carrot Top could not be reached for comment but his publicist
still insists he's funny.
|
|
Above:
"Carrot Top was mocking me" says WorldCom CEO John
Sidgmore
|
|
