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NEW YORK— (bobfromaccounting.com) Madison Avenue
execs were forced to admit Monday that ads for Valtrex herpes
medication depicting men and women kayaking along picturesque
rivers, were in no way meant to indicate that herpes sufferers
could begin kayaking without first obtaining professional
training and supervision.
"Herpes sufferers are just like you or me," said
Satchi & Satchi creative manager Sue Albrecht. "Not
that I have herpes or anything-- it just means that before
you jump in a wild raging river, it's probably a good idea
to first learn how to Kayak."
In what seems like a desperate attempt at damage control
after several herpes sufferers found themselves in horrifying
kayaking accidents after watching the commercials, advertisers
along with executives from GlaxoSmithKline, makers of Valtrex,
were forced to finally issue a statement.
The public relations nightmare became even worse when dozens
of the most popular kayaking spots around the country became
inundated by "disgusting, diseased, herpes people,"
according to Parks and Recreation Secretary Donald Manfred.
"I don't want to be an alarmist or anything, but there
ought to be some kind of law to rid the local rivers of these
infectious and promiscuous adults who now pollute our beautiful
waterways. What if the fish get infected?"
Lake Superior river guide Bill Lessing agrees. "I had
a real hard time talking to these people when when all I could
think about was the horrible, pus-filled growths sprouting
from their netherregions. Why can't they just go horseback
riding like every one else!"
Medical experts have found no evidence that fish can acquire
herpes.
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