|
Washington, D.C. - Democratic Presidential candidate
John Kerry was again on the defense Wednesday,
when word leaked out that several years after his return from
service in Viet Nam, he released an album of polka music.
This couldn't have come at a worse time for
Kerry, who has been defending his Viet Nam record for the
last several months. Defending a polka record could prove
to be much more difficult.
"My polka record speaks for itself and
I have nothing to be ashamed of," Kerry said during a
press conference. "Though I am not Polish by birth, Polish
voters will be happy to know that I have a Great Aunt who
may or may not have been Polish and thus I dedicate this set
of songs to your beautiful heritage which may or may not be
my heritage as well."
According to reports, John Kerry's "30
#1 Polka Hits" was made back in 1983 during a brief two
week period where polka music was undergoing somewhat of a
renaissance.
Sources in the Bush Administration have already
jumped on the findings, saying that Kerry has been heard several
times making fun of polka music and accordian-playing in particular.
"Several people have come forward with
the truth," the unnamed source said. "We also have
evidence that [Kerry] only sold 12 copies and purchased the
rest himself and yet he demanded a gold record certificate
from the record company."
The Polish National Congress wasn't sure what
to think about the allegations but are looking into the possibility
of Kerry's Polish connection.
"The rest of my family might be Polish
or Irish or Jewish or German or whatever -- it's not important,"
Kerry said. "What's important for voters to know is that
I represent all your cultures and hope to eventually release
albums exploiting -- I mean honoring -- everyone!"
Added Kerry, "And that 'Roll Out the Barrel' song is
one rocking tune."
Lyrics to Beer Barrel Song:
Roll out the barrel, We'll have a barrel of
fun
Roll out the barrel, we've got the blues on the run
Zing Boom Terrara
Join in a glass of good cheer
Now it's time to roll the barrel
For the gang's all here!
Repeat several times until drunk
|
