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BOB LEADS ANGRY DEMONSTRATION
ON 9/11 ANNIVERSARY
 HOLLYWOOD,
CA — Demonstrating an obvious case of displaced aggression,
Bob From Accounting took to the streets Wednesday where he cast
blame for the tragedy of 9/11 where it really belongs. "Thanks
God. Good going. Really terrific year you've given all of us Americans.
It's heartwarming to see how much you care. Seriously, you suck."
Read
More»
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS BOB FROM ACCOUNTING??
Bob's Journal will be back up soon. Meanwhile, click on the
photo.
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 EDITOR'S
RANT
9.18.02 Sorry for the
lapse this week but we wanted to leave the terrorism issue
up for a bit longer. Don't fret, we'll have a big beefy new
issue up on Weds. Here's a hint: think Corey
Feldman :)
9.11.02 Dear
Minions,
A
couple of weeks ago we ran a story about Martha
Stewart and it occurred to me that one can easily compare
the twinge of satisfaction we get from watching Martha edge
closer and closer to preparing lace doilies in prison, to
America's post 9/11 relationship with the outer world. Huh?
Sure she's an arrogant, ill-tempered, undiagnosed sociopath
with an bad Princess Di haircut, but so is America, dammit!
Right or wrong, we enjoy seeing people like Martha fall off
their high horse because it's human nature. That's how the
rest of the world feels about us. Get it? It's not our foreign
policy that drives Muslims or Europeans to criticize us. It's
because they can't have what we have. Plus they're a bunch
of whiny bitches, but I digress. America is the greatest country
in the world and everyone knows it. They give us crap knowing
full well we give more, do more and contribute more to the
betterment of the universe than any ten countries put together.
Martha may be a criminal but she is an American criminal who
happens to make a mean casserole. And that's good enough for
me.
Scooter
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 Cruel,
Cruel Email From Deep Within the Bowels of Slacker Hell
SHIZZY'S
MAILBAG
New entries 9.4.02
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 1970's
Chinese action star, Yu Weng Po offers advice for losers,
substance abusers and flabby, out-of-shape Americans. Weekly.
ASK
YU Special
9-11 Message!
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 Get
dating and relationship advice from Debby, the somewhat
bitter, mediocre-looking friend of several really hot chicks.
Weekly.
Read
Debby's Column New
Entries 9.4.02
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BFA RANKS TOP 20 PEOPLE IN NEED OF ETHNIC
CLEANSING 
Bob from Accounting is proud to present our list of the
worst and most annoying of 2002. If we left people out,
we apologize. The rankings were compiled from a strict scientific
sample based on 300 phone surveys from our satellite office
in Bosnia-Herzegovina.
READ RESULTS»
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Crack Whores Remember 9/11
Read Article»
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Please Don't Start World War III, I Just Bought a Saturn
Read Article»
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Bush Launches 'Operation Shut-Your-Piehole' Against
European Leaders
Read
Article»
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New York Cabbies No Longer Benefiting from 9/11 Sympathy
Sex
Read Article»
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"The Loag"
oh that prickle-faced loag
so sickly and sweet
so pale and manicured
so eunuchly neat
so french and irritating
so smarmy and drunk
his sambuca salted pickle
his dirty-bum funk
black liquorish and tall tales
he'll gush over you
stories of zombies
tired-fish stare - poo!
oh that loag,
oh that loag.....
Submitted by Brendan & Mike
Are you a crappy poet? Send
it in
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