Home |
Past Issues|
Bob Jobs |
Who's in Charge |
Mailing List |
Bob Gear |
Copyright Notice for Plagiarists

 

Want to write comedy? - Click Here  

 

Peoria, IL — Ken Shlotky doesn't care what his friends say about his musical aspirations. Or that his family members sometimes chuckle behind his back. Or that the music teacher he's had since fourth grade refuses to acknowledge his existence.

"My dream is simply that I will write and perform meaningful music and get paid for it," Shlotky insists. "It's not about getting some kind of revenge on all the people who laughed at me or heckled me when I performed at high school dances. I know my parents never meant any harm by that."

Shlotky, who works part-time in the lighting department at Home Depot, says he is just biding his time and saving money while he writes songs about subjects important to him -- like how his parents are totally unsupportive, or how his brother is mean and sadistic, or how his former girlfriend is going to be "so totally sorry she dumped [me] for some ivy league insurance salesman with a sailboat."

"I think my fame will be most obvious after my second album -- when critics as well as my parents and siblings will say things like 'wow, he's not just a flash in the pan.' Or, 'he's no Billy Ray Cyrus.' I can't wait to hear those glorious words."

Shlotky is particularly proud of a brand new song he penned, "I'm not a loser", where he uses obscure metaphors to lament "...the heavy responsibility of being famous while everyone else is stuck in pitiful, conventional lives where they don't get to have sex with supermodels or drive foreign sportscars." "Even though it's fictional, I think many people will be able to identify with some of the more universal themes."

Ken's parents, Doris and Jack Shlotky, insist they have been nothing but supportive of their son's aspirations from the beginning. "I never once said he was a loser," Doris argues. "I said he was a failure...which is totally different."

I'm sure that someday all of Kenny's dreams will come true," Jack Shlotky says. "Especially if he finally comes to his senses and changes all of his dreams."

Ken's younger brother Barry feels differently. "Nope, he's a loser."

Shlotky describes his music as a cross between Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan, though others argue it's closer to that of Jewel or Celine Dion.

"I'm not sure how to describe the music except to say it's definitely gay," older brother Tim says. "Then again, none of us really listen to it or attend any of the 'mini-concerts' he puts on in the basement for his stuffed animals."

Ken says he has managed to ignore all the naysayers and pessimists and maintain a positive attitude, pointing out a recent concert at a community college's back to school fair, where Shlotky performed to a nearly sold out crowd.

"It was a book fair!" Tim Shlotky shot back. "Of course it was sold out. They needed books."

Shlotky's self-produced debut album "Shlotky's Revenge," is not expected in stores soon.

 

Photo: Ken Shlotky performs to a nearly sold out crowd of stuffed animals.


SEND THIS ARTICLE TO A FRIEND!


Support Our Sponsors!

Cardinals Tix, MLB Playoffs tix, World Series Tix

Retro t-shirts!

Debt Consolidation

 

JOIN OUR MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES  

Copyright © 2001-2006 Bob From Accounting/Orange Planet Entertainment, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. That means you too, Mr. Steven Spielberg