|
Washington, D.C - Recently unearthed documents allegedly
written by members of the Bush administration show plans to
invade Iraq may have been hand-drawn on a napkin from the
popular Hooters restaurant chain.
The explosive report, broadcast by CBS News anchor Dan Rather
on the Wednesday edition of "60 Minutes," claims
the napkin is real and not part of any effort to smear President
Bush, despite recent discrepancies over published documents
relating to Bush's National Guard service.
"Unlike the National Guard documents, we received the
napkin directly from the source and not through helpful Democrats,"
Rather said. "The napkin clearly shows that little or
no planning was involved from the outset of the war in Iraq.
There was no exit strategy in place, and, while we can't prove
it conclusively, we feel that the decision to go to war was
based entirely on the strategy outlined on this napkin."
If proven true, the ramifications of the report are shocking.
It would reveal for the first time the thought processes behind
the decision to bomb Iraq and call into question whether suspicions
of weapons of mass destruction were ever considered.
According to Rather, the anonymous source was a former Hooters
waitress who remembers waiting on the President and several
cabinet members a few weeks after Bush was elected. When the
group left the restaurant, the waitress noticed the napkin
and the scribbles on it. She assumed it was just Donald Rumsfeld's
phone number, as he was flirting with her throughout the meal.
She kept it as a souvenir until last week when, after breaking
up with her latest boyfriend, she "considered calling
Rummy for a date."
When the former waitress realized there was no phone number
and instead some sort of "important writing," she
showed it to the manager at the strip club where she now works,
who coincidentally also co-chairs the Kerry campaign. He then
convinced her to take it to the news media.
CBS News producers have said they have already ordered DNA
testing and a handwriting analysis on the napkin to narrow
down the author.
"We already know there are traces of a very hot wing
sauce, Rather said. "Which eliminates Dick Cheney, Donald
Rumsfeld and several others with well-documented histories
of acid reflux disease. That just leaves Bush and Condi Rice.
And everyone knows that Condi hates the wings at Hooters."
|
