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WASHINGTON, DC —(bobfromaccounting.com) During
a press conference Monday, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
admitted the U.S. might have more concrete proof of Saddam
Hussein's biological and nuclear weapons program if "certain
Iraqi camera hogs" stopped waving at the secret spy satellite
orbiting overhead.
The surprise announcement came after US satellites detected
several Iraqi teenagers making obscene gestures directly into
the lens of the camera and thereby obstructing the view of
dozens of suspected weapons facilities.
"Saddam Hussein has been thumbing his nose at the United
Nations for years and now the Iraqi people have obviously
been coerced into thumbing their noses at our super secret
satellite technology," Rumsfeld said. "this behavior
is totally unacceptable."
According to sources, the secret spy technology has been
in place over Iraq and several neighboring countries since
the Persian Gulf War and is so sophisticated it can identify
the smallest details on an individual's face. To Iraqi citizens,
it's like their own version of the Jumbotron.
"These camera hogs have taken advantage of the fact
that we can see them and they continue with not only waving,
but these horrific vulgar displays like purposely eating with
their mouths wide open," Rumsfeld said. You can just
imagine how annoying it is for our intelligence officers."
Saddam Hussein remained defiant Monday and firmly rejected
any United Nations resolution the Bush administration might
propose.
"Screw you America," Hussein said pointing skyward
and mugging to the unseen cameras. "Hey am I on TV? Wow,
I'm on TV. Hi mom!"
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