25. Entire Cast of American Pie Franchise	Jason Biggs and Stiffler and all those idiots got back together this past year for the third (and pray to God -- last) installment of the highly successful and completely unwatchable "American Pie" franchise. This movie spawned the careers of Sean William Scott, Jason Biggs, Tara Reid, and a couple of others I can't remember the names of. Okay, so there are some hot girls in this cast, but that doesn't make them good actors, nor does it exempt them from appearing as #25 in our list of people we'd like to have ethnically cleansed.
24. Women Who Live with Multiple Cats	One cat is forgivable. Two cats is pushing it, but if you are a woman and you own three or more cats, you have a problem. Trust us, your house smells worse than Saddam Hussein after three days in a spiderhole with nothing but his favorite flannel shirt, some falafel and a stash of old Hustlers. Multiple cat owners are a scary breed and while it may seem innocent at first, you are more than likely to end up a lonely, creepy old lady until the day when your stinking fetid carcass is discovered by police officers wearing fumigation suits. And you wonder why you don't have a boyfriend.
23. The Olsen Twins	The Olsen Twins barely made the list this year because they've managed to stay out of the headlines during much of this recent, mostly awkward, post-menstral stage of their career. In addition to being incredibly successful television and home video stars, they now have perky little breasts, which makes them an interesting novelty act. It also makes adult men a little confused-- is it now okay to stare at their boobs and imagine them naked or am I the only one in the room doing so? As of this writing, they turn 18 in 172 days, four hours and two minutes.
22. Tie: Drifter Handyman/Carnival Workers	Tied in this year's Ethnic Cleansing Awards is both the carnival worker and the drifter handyman. While coincidental, their similarities are striking. They both hail from broken and/or estranged families, love tattoos, cherry flavored wine, gunnysacks and whores. While the drifter handyman has a trade and will only kidnap if provoked, the carnival worker preys on kids every single day. Hit the balloon and you win a stuffed animal, but touch me in an inappropriate way and you win a Budweiser mirror. They are tied at #22.
21. David Blaine	Many will recall how BFA had exclusive rights to illusionist David Blaine's 32 day underwear -- the same underwear he wore as he embarrassed himself and our entire country by suspending himself over the Thames River in London for more than a month in the most mystifying of self-absorbed publicity stunts. We watched as he spent his days picking scabs and wondering how he could be so lucky. The smell of David Blaine still permeates most of Europe to this very day. For that, we are grateful.

CONTINUE READING #25-21,   #20-16,   #15 - 11,   #10 - 6,   #5 - 1