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20. Julia Roberts
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Julie Roberts nearly escaped an ethnic cleansing award this past
year. She was doing so well -- had virtually stayed out of the media
spotlight and even managed to keep her marriage going strong after
a whole 12 months! Then, with just weeks left before 2004, her production
company releases "Mona Lisa Smile". And by "smile",
we mean those giant horseteeth staring down at us on the big screen,
while she rattles off cliche after cliche to an audience of women
and their sad, emasculated boyfriends/husbands. Die! Die! Die! |
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19. Ashton Kutcher
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It's not really Ashton Kutcher's fault he deserves
to be ethnically cleansed. The guy didn't really do anything wrong.
He made a couple of horrible movies, began dating Demi Moore and
just wants to be left alone to his craft. By "craft,"
we mean shitty acting. Ashton Kutcher is the Joey Lawrence of
Generation Y. And that's no small accomplishment.
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18. Hot Chicks Who Were Once Ugly But Then Went on a Reality
Show and Became Hot -- but Really More Freaky-Looking
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If there's anything worse then dating an ugly
chick, it's dating an ugly chick who is now somewhat hot and will
surely seek revenge on all the men who wouldn't date her before
she whored herself on national television for a nosejob and some
free boobs. Beauty might only be skin deep, but if you forget
to turn off the lights, you're gonna see yards and yards of extra
skin. That's just gross.
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17. Diane Sawyer
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Diane Sawyer
has had quite a year. She managed to get interviews with all the
biggies -- beating out arch rival Katie Couric and Barbara Walters
for sitdowns with President Bush and others. Then why do we want
to beat her with a hammer? It's difficult to explain but we really,
really want to hit her with a hammer. Like a giant hammer. |
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16. Steve Bartman
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Satan surely lives in
the body of 27 year old Steve Bartman, the Chicago Cubs fan who
interfered with a play and caused the Cubs to lose the World Series.
Worst of all he caused grown men to stand up and hurl their perfectly
good $9 cup of Bud Light all over him. If that's not a sign of the
Antichrist I don't know what is. |
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CONTINUE READING #25-21,
#20-16, #15
- 11, #10 - 6,
#5 - 1
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