Hi Dan!

We are having an office party and are searching for a magician to do slight of hand magic for the crowd. Many of us are fans of David Blaine's and I think that a magician wandering around the crowd performing tricks would be great fun! If you are interested please contact me.

Thanks,
Mike Ockisard (SHIZZY!)

Date: Fri, 17 May 2002 07:03:35 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> ||Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com>

Hi Mike. Sure, I would be interested. When are you planning on having the event, and how many people will be there? Also, where is the party being held?

Thanks.
-Dan

Date: Sun, 19 May 2002 11:37:23 -0700 (PDT) From: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com> | | Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Dan" <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

We are planning on having the party on July 12th at 7:00pm at the Hilton Hotel in downtown Pittsburgh. We are expecting a big turnout. Up to three hundred people. I would like to know what tricks you can do. Can you do that trick that David Blaine did when he turned the coffee into coins? I had a cousin who could do a trick called the Darby O'Gill. This is where he would take a couple of dollars and make them appear in a full can of beer. He'd open a beer and pour it all out, cut open the can and there the money would be! I still have no idea how he did it. Can you do this one? So, a list of the tricks you can do would be appreciated. Also, how old are you?

Hope to hear from you soon.
Mike

Date: Mon, 27 May 2002 18:38:00 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> | Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com>

I can do most of the tricks Blaine does. I can bite a quarter in half and restore it, make your dollar bill float in mid-air right in front of you, make things appear, and disappear right in front of your eyes, and I can even steal someones watch without them knowing, and have it re-appear just about anywhere imaginable. I am 17 years old, and I've been doing magic seriously for 4 years. I go to Tannen's Magic School in New York where David Copperfield made an appearance, and David Blaine himself went there. I would love to come to the party and entertain everyone. Do you have any more questions for me?

-Dan Morrison

Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 06:39:44 -0700 (PDT) From: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com> | | Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

Dan:

Glad to hear from you. We would be thrilled to have you work at our party. If you bite off half of a quarter and restore it people are going to wet their pants. That is one of the coolest tricks that Blaine does. A guy who works for the company is an amateur magician and he is planning to do some magic too. He won't be getting paid though. His magic is that crappy pull the rabbit out of the hat nonsense that only old people enjoy. You will steal the show for sure. We would also like you to be a little spooky. The less you say during the party the better. Just go up to people, do the magic, and move on. We want you to really freak people out. Do it just like Blaine might. Dan I hope you are up for it. Please contact me soon and let me know if you are interested in working with us.

Thanks,
Mike

Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 07:07:19 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> | Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com>

Wow you hit the nail on the head! That's my style... the mysterious guy who does things people can't explain. I've done this kind of thing before, you won't be dissappointed. Can you please send directions? I live in Gettysburg, Pa. Near Canton, Pa.

Thanks.
-Dan

Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 23:59:06 -0700 (PDT) From: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com> | | Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

Dan:

We are a Miami based company and I am not familiar with Pittsburgh, so I will have to get back to you with the directions. 200.00 bucks sounds fine. We could pay you up to 300.00 if you do a good job and you will surely make tips. I am glad to hear that you are up for playing the mysterious Blaine type role for the party. It should be a real fun job for you. This is going to sound crazy but I promised I would ask you...my daughter is a big David Blaine fan and she is really into magic. She is 17 and when I told her you were 17 she told me to ask you if you were single. You teenagers are always trying to "hook up"! A co-worker of mine said that he had a "stroller" come to do magic at a party he had, and the magician was telling everyone that he got his powers through "His Love of the Risen Christ". I am a somewhat religious man, but we don't need that kind of thing at the party. I don't want you telling people you are a Warlock either. I have a nephew who told my mother, his grandmother, that he had been baptised as a Master Scottish Warlock. He was only kidding, but it scared the shit out of her. I don't want that kind of thing to complement the magic you do. So if you could tell me what sort of things you like to say to people before, during, and after the tricks are performed I would appreciate it. I hope we can work together.I can't wait to see your act!

Thanks,
Mike

Date: Fri, 31 May 2002 06:59:10 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> |Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com>

Well the only thing I'm worried about is that Pittsburg is at least an 8 hr. drive for me, I live in Gettysburg, and Im not sure if an 8 hour drive and staying overnight in a hotel is really worth doing a gig. Im trying to figure out if I can do this.

-Dan

Date: Sun, 2 Jun 2002 11:34:31 -0700 (PDT) From: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com> || Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

I have been reading a book called How To Know God by Deepak Chopra. In this book he talks of meaningful coincidences and how at a deeper spiritual level all things happen for a reason. We are doing the same type convention/party thing in Gettysburg, PA the following month. I could not believe it when you said that is where you were from. So, if in August you are interested in doing the same bit, only in your hometown, we would be thrilled to have you. You are doing magic without even trying! If you are still interested please contact me along with my prior request of the type of things you say while you are performing tricks. I want spooky but not demonic. Hope to hear from you soon!

Mike Ockisard
P.S. My daughter is bugging me about this so I gotta ask again...are you single?

Date: Mon, 3 Jun 2002 17:33:22 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> || Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com>

I am going to Vegas in August from the 18th to the 24th. I hope that dosen't present a conflict with the date you want me to perform! I'd love to do it in August! That is a great coincidence how I happen to live in Gettysburg. When I do the magic I say things to make the magic interesting. If you've ever seen David Blaine perform, I can present magic like him, In that spooky/mysterious way you wanted, without being demonic. Yes, I'm now single.

-Dan

Date: Mon, 3 Jun 2002 23:50:13 -0700 (PDT) From: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com> || Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

That is great news. Our scheduled party is set to take place on the first Friday in August at 7:00pm. We are holding the affair in the convention room at the Holiday Inn North. I will get back to you with directions. Glad to hear you aren't into demonic stuff. That might be good for a young crowd, but there are some older folks that will be in attendance. I would say that the more Blaine-like your performance the better. My daughter now insists that she come along to see your act. She gets good grades and I often let her come on business trips with me. I think she may have a little crush on you. Maybe you kids could talk a bit after your gig. She is single too. Some questions: What sort of clothes do you wear while you perform? Do you do any of the "guess what number I am thinking" stuff that Blaine does? Can you do the levitation thing he does? Do you like the band Train? I don't know how long this thing might drag on. We are big drinkers and you might be working late. You will have no problem making tip money disappear into your pocket. This one guy, Bob from Accounting, throws money around like Al Capone, and he is the biggest Blaine fan I know. I know that is a lot of questions, and I thank you for taking the time to deal with me in this manner. You are a professional, and I can tell that you're a young man with the ambition and determination to do well. Please contact me as promptly as possible.

Thank you.
Mike

Date: Sat, 8 Jun 2002 05:12:40 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> || Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com>

Hey, that sounds great. Well I went to www.holidayinn.com and I get the webpage specifically for the one in Niagra Falls... Is there another Holiday Inn webpage? And that would be fine if your daughter emailed me.

Thanks!
-Dan

Date: Sat, 8 Jun 2002 14:47:28 -0700 (PDT) From: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com> | Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

Hey Dan! Go to www.holidayinn.com/gettysburg to see the map of Gettysburg with the Holiday Inn's location marked. Glad to hear that you are enthusiastic about the gig. This party is going to be a blowout. We are going to have an AC/DC cover band, a comedian, and a gypsy palm reader also working the crowd. Also, my older brother is going to be there. He is best known as the actor who played Face on the A-Team. He will be taking pictures with people and signing autographs. My daughter is looking forward to talking with you and meeting you at the party. She is a good girl, so, no getting her drunk and making her clothes disappear. :) She was very excited to hear that you liked the band Sublime. I guess they are "dope". I need to know if you will be bringing anyone else to the party. You can bring up to three people if you wish. Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks,
Mike
P.S. My daughter said she will email you within the next couple of days.

Here I pretend to be Tina, Mike Ockisard's beautiful and outgoing daughter. Let's see if I can seduce the magician and get him to score me some blow….

Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 19:46:08 -0700 (PDT) From: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com> ||Subject: HiTo: Dan_magic@yahoo.com

Hi Dan. My name is Tina. You have been talking to my loser dad for the past couple of weeks about performing at his nerd party. You might actually make the party cool. I am really looking forward to meeting you at the party. I don't want to seem like a loser who can't get a date. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I want to meet as many people as I can before I get tied up again. I think that it is SO cool that you can do magic. My dad said you can do the levitation trick. You have to be fucking kidding right? If I see you levitate I am going to wet myself. So, you like Sublime? :) I LOVE Sublime! I get high as hell and listen to some Brad. I also like NIN, do you? What kind of stuff are you into other than magic? Do you smoke? If not it's cool. I just started this year. Email me back as soon as you can so I can stop feeling like a loser. I didn't know if it would be cool for me to email you.

Talk to you later :)
Tina

Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 15:42:07 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> ||Subject: Re: Hi To: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com>

Hey Tina.

All I smoke is good bud. Not cigarettes. haha. I go for bake rides in my car and listen to Sublime all the time. My room is like all blacklight stuff with Sublime posters and the whole deal. My one friend has some NIN cd's I listen to, I think they're cool. Hey, I just broke up w/ my girlfriend, I know how you feel. I'ts cool that you emailed me, I don't think you're a loser. Ill try and see if I can levitate.. It is actually hard as hell.

I can't wait to meet you.
-Dan

Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 10:01:37 -0700 (PDT) From: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com> || Subject: Re: Hi To:"Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

Oh shit! That is SO cool! I just started smoking bud this year and I love it! At first it made me all paranoid but now I am like addicted as hell. Hey, maybe you can show me your place when I come up there with my dad. My room has some blacklight stuff in it too. I don't know if this would be too much to ask but, do you think you can get some bud for us to smoke when I come up there? I would bring my own but I don't want to take it on the plane. Last weekend all of my friends were X-ing their faces off and making out. I am thinking of trying that soon too. Have you done ecstacy before? I am SO glad you emailed me back. If you didn't I would have been embaressed and not gone up there. If you can get ahold of some smoke that would be so cool. Hope to hear from ya soon!

Peace,
Tina

Date: Sun, 23 Jun 2002 07:59:56 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> || Subject: Re: HiTo: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com>

Hey, sorry I didn't email you back right away, I haven't been online to check my email lately. My parents know I smoke... They catch me coming home really stoned all the time. They always tell me not to do it in my car but other than that, they don't care! I could bring some weed up there, yeah. That's a good idea. I wouldn't want to take anything on the plane either. I've never tried ecstacy before, have you? I might try shrooms soon, I dunno. How long are you staying in Gettysburg?

-Dan

Date: Sun, 23 Jun 2002 10:42:48 -0700 (PDT) From: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com> | Subject: Re: Hi To: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

O Oh man that is SO fucking cool! I thought my parents were the only ones who were okay with their kids "experimenting" with drugs. I have been a real druggie snizz the past couple of weeks. I have been trying drugs I've never even heard of before. A kid in my pre-cal class was found dead at his house the day after he did some Special K. I guess I won't try that one. I AM getting into some nose candy though. This is CRAZY but true....last weekend my dad caught my brother and me doing some white off the kitchen counter. Instead of grounding us, he told us that we should drink beer after each line so our hearts won't explode. Now my dad wants my older brother to get him some white to do so we can get completely snowed over on the 4th of July. So, is there any way you could get some toots for the party? I know that Jack Frost is a whole lot more expensive then greenery, but we could get fucking crazy nasty high with it. We might even get to do some with my dad. Hope to hear from you much sooner magic man!

Tina

Date: Sat, 29 Jun 2002 07:40:42 -0700 (PDT) From:"Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> | | Subject: Re: Hi To: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com>

Damn, your dad seems cool. That would be fuckin hillarious if we could smoke up with your dad. My parents won't do it with me.. they just pretend they don't know I do it and let me go. But if they find my pot, they'll take it. I don't know anywhere I can get my hands on any white over here, but I can try. I almost got into a shitload of trouble a few days ago... Me and my friends just smoked a nice joint and 5 bowls in my car, and we just lit another bowl when a cop pulls us over. (He said I was tailgating the guy in front of me.) The car was so damn cloudy with smoke, it fuckin reeked and I was ripped off my ass. The cop must have been a complete dumbass, or just really nice cause he let us go and didn't even give me a ticket or anything for tailgating. I guess I won't let that happen again.. haha.

later.
-Dan

Here I once again pretend to be Mike Ockisard and I am forced to give Dan some bad news. The party is off. He doesn't give me a reply. He does however continue to talk with my daughter.

Date: Sun, 30 Jun 2002 21:30:18 -0700 (PDT) From: "Michael Ockisard" <xxxx-lock1@yahoo.com> || Subject: Re: possible gig for you To: Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

Hi Dan. I have some bad news. Septicorps is a sub-corporate entity that subsumes Bob-Tech industries. Bob-Tech is a direct branch of WorldCom. I am sure that you have heard that WorldCom has gotten into serious trouble for lying about profits and shredding important documents that will expose their unethical business practices. Unfortunately this means that the Northeastern leg of our company party tour is canceled. So, I will not be able to hire you to do magic for the party. I do have to go to Gettysburg, on the very weekend we were to have the party, to discuss with some individuals the sorry state Septicorps is in following the WorldCom collapse. My daughter would still like to meet you, and we are going to get a hotel room at the very Holiday Inn we were going to hold the party in. If you would like to meet us and get to know my daughter, let me know. Dan, you sound like a nice young man and I hope we can meet. If not, I wish you the best in your career as an illusionist.

Sincerely,
Mike Ockisard

Now I resume my roll as Tina. I write in response to his "almost getting busted by the cops" story and tell him about plans for the future.

Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 10:14:06 -0700 (PDT) From: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com> | |Subject: Re: HiTo: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com>

Oh shit Merlin! You are lucky you didn't get busted with smoke. The cops can be real dicks about that kind of thing. So, my dad told me the bad news about his business laying people off and about how there won't be any corporate parties. That sucks SO bad. He did mention that I could still go with him to Gettysburg for a business trip. Maybe then we could meet up. My cousin is a famous country star and he said that he could get ahold of some Brain Sugar for us. His name is Billy Ray Cyrus. I am sure you've heard of him. He is the achy breaky heart guy. In real life he is cool. He loves to get wasted and talk about how gay Hollywood is. So, you don't have to worry about getting any drugs because Billy Ray is a walking pharmacy. He will have a boatload of laughers, gassers, and shitters. Hopefully he will bring some VCR cleaner to huff on too. Last time we huffed paint thinner and I almost made out with him. And he's my fucking cousin! Also my Uncle Dirk will be there. He played "Faceman" on the A-Team. He is really funny. He always has his Asian boyfriend with him and they LOVE karaoke. So if you want to get fucked up with me, my dad, Dirk Benedict, Lao Chen, and Billy Ray Cyrus that would be so cool. I really want to meet you. We could totally have a Fear and Loathing experience in Gettysburg. If you are way too freaked out by all this it's cool. I wish you good luck. I am so high right now. I gotta go drink a beer to calm my shit. Hope to hear from you soon! PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!

TINA

Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 15:03:31 -0700 (PDT) From: "Dan M." <xxxx-magic@yahoo.com> | | Subject: Re: Hi To: "Tina Ockisard" <xxxx-2333@yahoo.com>

Hey Tina.

That would be cool to meet up with you. haha I didn't know Billy Ray Cyrus did that shit! That's so fuckin' cool! I don't get freaked out easily, so its all good, I'm up for meeting you and getting smashed with your family!. I'll do some magic for you while we're fucked up (If I can manage it at the time) That'll be fun to watch while you're messed up.

Talk to you later!
--Dan

At this point, I think we are finished. We have taken a young man on a trip into the imaginary world of Shizzy. This is a world where fathers do cocaine with their kids, Dirk Benedict and Billy Ray Cyrus huff VCR cleaner together, and David Blaine is still cool.