EPISODE 1: CONTACTING THE TREKKIE

Date: Tue, 18 Feb 2003 17:49:33 -0800 (PST)
From: "Frank Shizzoni" <shizzxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Star Trek
To: davidxxx@xxx.com

Hi David!

I work as a creative consultant to the Bruce and Lenny show here in Miami, Florida on Q100FM. Bruce and Lenny spend every morning talking to celebrities and playing pranks on each other. Lately during this serious time of terrorist fears and possible war on the horizon, Bruce and Lenny have been taking sides on issues like..."Who would win in a fight....Pee Wee Herman or Andy Dick?" These types of questions have been getting lots of feedback from listeners. The latest question of some debate is which has more entertainment value...Star Wars or Star Trek? We are looking for "experts" on either side of the issue to write in and possibly earn a spot to call in to the show. We found you on the net and we'd love to hear from you. The more you can elaborate on which storyline is better the more fun it will be. We hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Frank Shizzoni (it's me, Shizzy)

From: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com |
To: shizzxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 22:32:56 -0500
Subject: Re: Star Trek

Wow! I’ve never been called a Trek expert before! That’s pretty cool. Thanks for writing. I’d love to give you my thoughts on this very HOT topic :^) Star Trek is more poetic in the way it tells it’s stories. We never saw Darth Vader quoting Shakespeare. Episode 1 was A bunch of people fighting over a trade dispute. Star Trek is about fighting for what is right, about seeking out new life and new civilizations. Star Trek is like National Geographic, only it could be called Interstellar Geographic. Gene Roddenberry had a vision and something to say when he created Star Trek. George Lucas was more concerned with special effects. Star Trek has produced five series and ten movies, all with stories that allow us to get to know the characters and to watch their development. Star Wars has only produced 5, soon to be 6 movies with low character development. The Borg queen, hey even Trelain (TOS) is more terrifying than Darth Maul could ever be. Jake Sisko, willing to sacrifice his life to save his father who died 50 years ago, had a more emotional scene than any that ever took place in Star Wars. Or seeing Picard as a Borg! Scary.

The infamous Khan, conveyed a much more convincing scene of pure hateful revenge than Anakin Skywalker did over the death of his mother. In Nemesis, the clone is AGAINST the good guys. He doesn’t fight alongside them as was seen in “ATTACK of the clones” :) Got to go to bed and then to work. Thanks for visiting my site and everything. If you need anything else or some more examples (give me some time and I’ll think of some more) I’ll be here! If I think of any other valid points I'll let you know.

-David

Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 21:32:31 -0800 (PST)
From: "Frank Shizzoni" <shizzxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Star Trek
To: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com

Hi David!

That was great. You seem to have a firm grasp on both Star Trek and Star Wars. Your response was by far the most impressive from the "Trek" camp. Your case for Star Trek was comprehensive and well thought out. What we would like to do is have you enter into a debate with a Star Wars fan. We will be reading the emails over the air and awarding points for each good point made by either side. Depending on how that goes, we might even have you guys call in for an on-air debate. It all comes down to ratings and how fired up the listeners get about the arguments. Right now we are getting hundreds of calls an hour from Trekkies and Star Wars freaks while on the air. If you are interested in this idea please let me know and we'll put you in contact with the Star Wars fan ASAP. Thanks David!

Sincerely,

Frank

From: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com |
To: shizzxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2003 17:47:27 -0500
Subject: Re: Star Trek

Frank,

I'm definitely interested. It sounds fun! I'm a little unclear as to what EXACTLY you want me to do next though. Who is "THE" star wars fan? And when does the program air? My uncle (A Trekker) lives in Miami and he could listen to the show whenever it's on. Anyway, it sounds fun, count me in!

-David

Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2003 21:28:19 -0800 (PST)
From: "Frank Shizzoni" <shizzxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Star Trek
To: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com

Hi David!

Glad to hear you're interested in being a part of the show! We air every morning from 7 to 10 on Q101FM. The Star Wars fan is a guy we've found over the net just the same as we found you. Just from the little bit that I've talked to him he sounds like a real freak. We are hoping that you can be the straight man to his crazy shtick. His name is Mike and he's kind of a weirdo. The more you can expose him for the nerdnick he is the better. It won't be hard. He is really serious about Star Wars and he has a crazy lingo I am not familiar with. I'm going to have him email you soon, so you two can basically debate about which is the superior space saga. After 4 or 5 emails back and forth we are going to read the good points on the show and have you guys call in for an on air debate. That is at least a couple of weeks away and it depends on how well the emails go. Sound good? Hope so. Mike will probably email you tomorrow.

Good luck!

Frank

Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 13:16:27 -0800 (PST)
From: "Michael Ockisard" <michaelxxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Star Trek
To: davidxxx@xxx.com

GREETINGS EARTHLING CALLED DAVID! Let us debate on this topic. I am known as Michael here in this earth realm. THE FORCE IS WITH ME TREKKIE. ZING!! I am glad you have accepted the impossible job of defending a third rate space show against the cinematic master work of George Lucas. Here are the facts as I see them; 1. George Lucas is simply the most important and innovative director ever. 2. Star Wars serves as vehicle for the story of darkness and light, good and evil, while Star Trek is about nothing important at all. 3. The special effects in Star Wars are groundbreaking. The special effects in Star Trek are beyond lame. ZING DOS!!! 4. Luke, Anakin, and Obi Wan Kenobe are true warriors. They are true masters of the force. Kirk looks like a washed up game show host on anti-depressants. 5. Chewbacca could kick the logic out of Spock. ZING TRES!!! That's just for starters. I eagerly await a rebuttal. I shall watch Episode 2 enjoying refreshments.

I am the master of THIS universe.

Mike Ockisard

From: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com |
To: michaelxxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 02:10:49 -0500
Subject: Re: Star TrekHey Star Wars freak.

I shall offer some reasons of my own for the success and glory of Star Trek and zing you back. You pointed out the following:

1. George Lucas is simply the most important and innovative director ever.
Better than Robert Wise, Nicholas Meyer, Stuart Baird, Jonathan Frakes, or Leonard Nimoy?

2. Star Wars serves as vehicle for the story of darkness and light, good and evil, while Star
Trek is about nothing important at all. The Original Series Star Trek speaks on issues such as life after death, discrimination, the abuse of people's rights by the state, racism, and how all men (and women) are created equal and have a chance to be somebody. Even androids like data and holograms have a chance to be somebody with a free will. In Star Wars droids are treated like slaves, even though they obviously possess intelligence and emotions. Star Trek is based in the real world with Earth. It portrays a hopeful view of the future and can relate to us as humans. Star Wars was a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

3. The special effects in Star Wars are groundbreaking. The special effects in Star Trek are beyond lame.
That's all Star Wars is, special effects. The Phantom Menace was a story about a Trade Dispute. Trade disputes don't make for good entertainment. Star Wars is just a bang bang shoot-em up thriller, relying only on the special effects to sell the story. Take away the special effects and see how interesting Star Wars would be.

4. Luke, Anakin, and Obi Wan Kenobe are true warriors. Masters of the force. Kirk looks like a washed up game show host on antidepressants
Kirk was not a warrior. He could outwit his opponents using logic and cunning, if that didn't work he would just blow em up. And he's never lost. He found a solution to the No Win Scenario.

5. Chewbacca could kick the logic out of Spock.

But can Chewbacca play chess?Rebutt this:

1. Star Trek has more substance in its writing. It is more poetic in the way it tells it’s stories.
We never saw Darth Vader quoting Shakespeare.
2. Star Trek is like National Geographic on steroids, educating and entertaining. It's more intellectually honest and founded in actual scientific principles.

3. Star Trek has produced five series and ten movies, all with stories that allow us to get to
know the characters and to watch their development. Star Wars has only produced 5, soon to
be 6 movies with low character development.

4. The Borg queen, hey even Trelain (TOS-The Squire of Gothos) is more terrifying than Darth Maul could ever be.

5. The infamous Khan, (Star Trek II) conveyed a much more convincing scene of pure hateful revenge than Anakin Skywalker did over the death of his mother.

6. In Nemesis, the clone is AGAINST the good guys. He doesn’t fight alongside them as was seen in “ATTACK of the clones”!

I eagerly await your rebuttal.

-David

Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 00:34:10 -0800 (PST)
From: "Michael Ockisard" <michaelxxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Star Trek
To: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com

GREETINGS DISILLUSIONED ONE!!

Your arguments are well put together, but futile because Star Trek is no match for THE FORCE. Call me a freak all you want Trekkie. This means WAR. ZINGZOW!!! LET IT BEGIN CHILD..... First of all Lucas is a pure Stephen Hawking style genius. He did for film what Bill Gates did for computers. BILL GATES REFERENCE!! ZING!!! You call Kahn's vengeance convincing? He looked like LIKE A GAY SPACE PIRATE. ZIPPY? ZIPPY ZOO! Speaking of Gay.....Data. ZING!! You want to talk evil? There is no character in the Star Trek series/movies even remotely as evil as the Emperor. Chewbacca spent much of his time fixing the Millenium Falcon. I'm sure he would beat Spock at chess and then eat his VULCAN FACE OFF!!! Speaking of faces is it just me or does Worf have what appears to be a series of vaginas running down his head? Can you say….ZING? You make reference to the idea that there is "low" character development in Wars. What? I mean what are you Kevin SPACEY? We have Anakin who went from innocent boy, to cunning man-child, to fallen hero, to a heavy breathing cape wearing anti-christ. You compare Star Trek to National Geographic on steroids? Star Wars is Star Trek on steroids.....and neurotransmitting mental performance enhancing drugs!! OOOOOH ZING! REBUT THIS YOU WORF WORSHIPER.....

Picard, Kirk, Sisco, Riker all would be no match for a jedi. Luke could single handedly SABER SLAP the Federation and make it his SPACE BEOTCH. Worf and Data couldn't hold a candle to R2 or C-3P0. That is evident to anyone who takes these sagas seriously. Well as seriously as you can take a show that has cheesy special effects and boring dialogue. Star Wars is simply the next step. It is an evolution in cinema and plot conception. I enjoy your attempts to elevate Trek to the level of STAR WARS. THIS IS THE SEQUEL AFTER EPISODE 6. THIS IS STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE ZINGER!! I again eagerly await your silly attempts to defend Snooze Trek.

ZING!

Mike

From: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com |
To: michaelxxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 23:20:42 -0500
Subject: Re: Star Trek

Hello again! This is what I think.

1. Lucas is a pure Stephen Hawking style genius.
Stephen Hawking had enough respect for Star Trek to make a personal appearance on the show (TNG Descent pt.1).

2. You call Kahn's vengeance convincing? He looked like LIKE A GAY SPACE PIRATE. Speaking of Gay.....Data.
Why on Earth would you say something like that? It's completely and obviously untrue. And irrelevant.

3. There is no character in the Star Trek series/movies even remotely as evil as the Emperor.
I cannot respond to that as it is simply an opinion.4. Well as seriously as you can take a show that has cheesy special effects and boring dialogue. Star Wars is simply the next step. An evolution in cinema and plot conception.

Where do you get off saying Star Trek has cheesy special effects? The Original Series in 1966 may have had "cheesy effects" by today's standards but that was 1966. Today, Star Trek Special Effects are fantastic even by George Lucas' standards. And, I might add, they're powered by 12 Apple G4 cubes, excellent machines. ( (http://www.angelfire.com/trek/startrekstuff/images/MISCcubes.jpg )5.

You make reference to the idea that there is "low" character development in Wars. What? I mean what are you Kevin SPACEY? We have Anakin who went from innocent boy, to cunning man-child, to fallen hero, to a heavy breathing cape wearing antichrist How can you really get to know a character when they are only on the screen for a total of about 1 or maybe 2 hours?

6. Star Wars is Star Trek on steroids.....and neurotransmitting mental performance enhancing drugs!! OOOOOH ZING! REBUT THIS YOU WORF WORSHIPER....

How can I rebut that? "neurotransmitting mental performance enhancing" doesn't make any sense.7. Chewbacca spent much of his time fixing the Millenium Falcon. I'm sure he would beat Spock at chess and then eat his VULCAN FACE OFF!!!
I seem to remember sparks flying when chewy was attempting to fix the millenium falcon.I cannot respond to all of your statements as they are only pathetic insults attempting to downplay a fantastic franchise.But I can add some more points to why exactly Star Trek has the more entertaining storyline.

1. Star Trek stories don't always have the story in black and white. In Wars you know what you have to do and who the bad guys are. In Trek, the story creates a moral dilemma. Uncertainty as to how to behave in certain situations and just exactly what the right thing to do is. And that makes for good storytelling.

2. Star Trek has had some great moments. Like seeing picard as a Borg drone (TNG Best of Both Worlds); jake giving up his life to save his father who died years earlier
(DS9 The Visitor); the friendship between McCoy, Kirk, and Spock; B'Elanna confessing her love for Paris while floating in Space (VOY Day of Honor), seeing Picard break down with remorse over the actions he was forced into by the borg (TNG Family). I ask you, how can Star Wars compete with that?

3. Star Trek has also ushered in a groundbreaking television event as it spawned the FIRST interracial kiss on television.

David

Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 14:10:35 -0800 (PST)
From: "Michael Ockisard" <michaelxxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Star Trek
To: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com

Hello Earthling David.

As for as for your arguments....FOOLISH!!! I also insist that you call me Obi-Wan from now on. It all boils down to this...Gene Dingle-berry was no where near the creative genius that George Lucas is. I truly suspect that Lucas is from another dimension. His grasp of the multidimensional qualities of existence suggest he possesses a higher consciousness than mere mortals. As vice-lord of the Order of Jedi it is my duty to defend Lord Lucas against any and all aggressors. Your petty arguments reveal your lower level of awareness in this earth realm. I insist you address the following....The expendable ensign phenomena, Data's relationship with Jordi, Riker's beard, and the racist overtones in all Trek films/shows. You also must also address the very unscientific qualities in nearly every Trek script. I fear that if you cannot address these issues than I have proven my point.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. I wait for an answer to these matters.

Vice-Lord OBI-WAN

From: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com |
To: shizzxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 10:35:22 -0500
Subject: Re: Star Trek

Hi, David here.

I've started debates with Michael. And his arguments are just insults. So, debating with him isn't hard :^) I'm curious though. How are you receiving the email? Are we supposed to forward them to you? Is Michael taking care of that?

Anyway,
Live Long and Prosper.
-David

Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 12:35:44 -0800 (PST)
From: "Frank Shizzoni" <shizzxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Star Trek
To: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com

David,

Michael has forwarded the email he sends you and your response. I suspect he is very old and trying to sound young. My grandpa used to say "zing" alot. He's out of control. You are shutting him down well. Keep it going for as long as he can take it. You don't have to directly insult him, but making reference to his goofy expressions and using them against him is a great idea. It might be funny if you gradually insult him more and more with each email. Hopefully after awhile he'll get pissed and go completely nuts. We're going to read some of the points you made in your emails next week on the show. You’re doing great and coming up with some great arguments. Keep up the great work! Thanks!

Frank

From: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com |
To: michaelxxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 22:25:42 -0500
Subject: Re: Star Trek

Expendable ensigns make Trek much more interesting.
Good-Bye. Scam's over. Are you Frank or is it a team of two?

-David
P.S. Geordi is not spelled "Jordi"

From: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com |
To: shizzxxx@yahoo.com
Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 17:21:46 -0500
Subject: Re: Star Trek

Hello again Frank :)

This is David again. I was wondering what the 4 letters, or whatever they're called, for your radio station were. And if you had a website or something I could look at. And also, I found an interesting site that you might find interesting. It's called Shizzy's mailbag. Michael Ockisard was there http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/shizzypage11.html and a Frank Shizzoni was there as well http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/shizzypage18.html

Can you shed some light on this?
-David

Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 16:13:58 -0800 (PST)
From: "Frank Shizzoni" <shizzxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Star Trek
To: “David” <davidxxx@xxx.com

MY EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING!!! Congratulations Earthling David! You are the first person to bust The Great One in the middle of a SHIZZIFICATION. There is no radio station, no Bruce and Lenny show, and no debates on the air about Star Wars vs. Star Trek. You've unmasked the evil! The geeks may have won this round, but Shizzy will be back...